April 2014 News Articles
- Facebook Offers You An Invisibility Cloak For Apps, Because Mark Zuckerberg Is All Touchy-Feely & 'People Come First' Now
- 'Unload Your 401K' Campaign Asks A Chilling Question: Is Your 401K Helping Fund Gun Manufacturers?
- 3 Takeaways From The Newly-Released Benghazi Emails
- North Carolina Lawsuit On Gay Marriage, Religious Freedom Could Change the National Conversation
- Body Found Inside Industrial-Sized Fortune Cookie Mixer In Houston
- Climate Change Is Ruining Your Chipotle, So Now It's Time To Sit Up And Pay Attention
- Senate Republicans Like The Minimum Wage Exactly As It Is, President Obama Be Damned
- How Safe Is Climbing Mount Everest Today? After Deadly Avalanche, Sherpas Try To Shut Mountain For The Season
- 7 Types Of Inappropriate Tornado Selfies (Hint: There Is No Appropriate Tornado Selfie)
- How Human Fat Cells Could Save Lives And Regenerate Organs, Believe It Or Not
- What Should You Do During A Tornado Warning? 3 Myths, And 3 Steps You Should Actually Take
- Google Bans Ads From Crisis Pregnancy Centers In a Move That Deserves All of The Applause
- A Terrifying 'Post-Antibiotic' Era Is Coming, Says WHO — And It Could Be Worse Than The AIDS Epidemic
- Move Over, Ligers: Khumba The 'Zonkey' Is Here, And He's An Adorable Donkey-Zebra Hybrid
- Bill Gates Wants 'Mosquito Week' To Replace 'Shark Week,' And Here's What This Would Mean For The World
- Twitter Is Tanking, And Wall Street Is Freaking Out — But We Shouldn't Write Twitter Off Just Yet, And Here's Why
- At Least 230 Nigerian Schoolgirls Were Abducted, And No One's Been Able To Rescue Them
- Who Is Oscar Pistorius' Prosecutor Gerrie Nel? Everything You Need To Know About South Africa's 'Pit Bull'
- NYC's 9/11 Museum Has A Top-Secret Al Qaeda Documentary, But We Should Stop Speculating About It
- Australian Coral Could Prevent HIV, So It's Too Bad Humans Are Killing Coral Reefs
- 'MIT Bitcoin Project' Will Offer Bitcoins Worth $100 To Every Single MIT Student
- Angry Russia: NASA, Just Use Trampolines To Reach Space!
- Oklahoma's Execution Of Murderer Clayton Lockett Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong
- In Honor of National Honesty Day, The 11 Most Honest Things Politicians Have Ever Said
- Wisconsin Voter ID Law Struck Down By Federal Judge, Won't Be In Effect During Scott Walker's Reelection
- The Great Lime Shortage Of 2014 Is Still Happening, Ruining Lives & Margaritas
- Italian Court That Convicted Amanda Knox Publishes 300-Plus Page Document Explaining Exactly Why
- Title IX Protects Transgender Students From Discrimination, Department Of Education Says In Landmark Ruling
- Uh-Oh, Young Democrats Are More Apathetic Than Ever — Just In Time For Midterms
- Aussie Company GeoResonance Thinks It Found Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 (But Probably Didn't)
- Boehner Challenger J.D. Winteregg Fired Over 'Electile Dysfunction' Ad, Which His Baptist Employer Didn't Find Quite So Funny
- Donald Sterling Slapped With NBA Ban And $2.5 Million Fine, And It's Exactly What He Deserves
- Supreme Court Cracks Down On Cross-Border Air Pollution, And These States Are The Worst Offenders
- Apple's MacBook Air Update Is Underwhelming, Though We'll Never Say No To Faster And Cheaper
- Quit Polar Plunging, Kids: The Latest 'Teen Fad' Is Downright Silly
- 5 Moments Tornado Victims Found The Pets They Thought They'd Lost — PHOTOS
- BMI Is Inaccurate, So Try the Body Shape Index Instead
- The White House Has A 5-Step Plan To Curb Campus Sex Assault, And It Might Just Work
- Chase Reportedly Shuts Porn Stars' Bank Accounts, Which Is Legal, Believe It Or Not
- Rio 2016 Olympics Prep Is The 'Worst' The IOC's Ever Seen — But Can Rio Outdo These 4 Awful Olympic Games?
- Readers Notice More Typos in Papers Written by African-Americans, Says Study
- FedEx Facility Shooting In Georgia Leaves 6 Injured, Gunman Dead
- WTVA-TV Meteorologist Orders Tornado Evacuation On Live TV — VIDEO
- Harvard's Sex-Assault Policies Are Under Federal Investigation, And Yet Another Title IX Violation Is Suspected
- Mice Are Afraid of Men, So We Should Have More Female Researchers
- Don't Panic, But Starbucks Can't Afford Coffee Anymore — And This Is Terrible News For Your Cup Of Morning Joe
- Watch South Korean Ferry Captain Make A Run For It, With Hundreds Left On Board — VIDEO
- The QWERTY Keyboard Is The Slow, Inefficient Sibling To Dvorak & KALQ Keyboards — So Why Are We Still Using It?
- Food Poisoning Sickens 100 People At An, Um, Food Safety Summit
- Oscar Pistorius' Trial Spotlights Violence Against Women In South Africa, And It's About Time
- NFL Cheerleaders Slam Buffalo Bills With A Lawsuit, Citing Everything From 'Jiggle Tests' To Below-Minimum Wage
- Breast Cancer Patient Unemployment Rates Are Disturbingly High
- 4 Other Times Donald Sterling Was Straight-Up Racist (And The NBA Did Nothing)
- What Is Net Neutrality? Here's What You Need To Know, And Why Its Fight For Survival Matters
- HBO Celebrates Ann Richards With 'All About Ann' So Here's a Quick History Crash Course
- Mississippi Has One Abortion Clinic Left, And It's Fighting Desperately To Stay Open
- Internet Explorer Has A Huge Security Flaw, So It's A Good Thing No One Uses It
- 30-Plus Tornados Devastate Arkansas And Oklahoma, Leaving At Least 18 People Dead
- How To Argue For Vaccinations: 7 Common Anti-Vaxxer Arguments, Debunked
- Hunger Strike Against Gay Marriage Launched In Virginia
- Sarah Palin: 'Waterboarding Is How We Baptize Terrorists"
- Hermit Crabs Are Cannibals, New Study Reveals
- Representative Michael Grimm Indicted For Fraud
- Two Popes Made Saints: How Does Canonization Work?
- Syria's Chemical Weapons Remain In Country Despite Deadline
- Obama Denounces Clippers Owner's Alleged Racist Remarks
- New Mexico Excavation Unearths Hundreds of Copies of Atari's Awful "E.T." Game
- South Korean Prime Minister Chung Hong-won Offers to Resigns Over Ferry Incident, Blames Self for Response
- Connecticut Stabbing Suspect in Psych Ward, as Victim Is Remembered on Twitter
- Twitter Alerts Could Now Have a Smell, Thanks to Sensabubble
- CodeBabes Is A Coding Website Where Women Instructors Get Naked, Because Sexism
- U.S. and Europe to Slap More Sanctions on Russia, But Putin's Playing it Cool
- Rand Paul's Abortion Comments Rile Conservatives: 'We Are Not Changing Any Of The Laws' Anytime Soon
- What To Expect At The NRA Convention: Wannabe Presidents, Bloomberg Bashing, And Alternate Realities
- Vatican #2PopeSaints Campaign Features The Church's Take On Pharrell Williams' 'Happy,' And It's Just So Weird
- Which Americans Love Their States The Most? It's Not New England, That's For Sure
- Minneapolis Changed Columbus Day To 'Indigenous People's Day,' But They're Kinda Late In The Game
- Cliven Bundy Now Has A Theme Tune: 'Bunkerville Song,' By A Conservative Husband-And-Wife Duo
- North Korea Detains American Matthew Todd For 'Rash Behavior' On The Border, Whatever That Means
- Why Nissan's Self-Cleaning 'Ultra-Ever Dry' Car Paint Should Terrify The Car-Wash Industry
- How The Supreme Court Ruling On Affirmative Action Proves That, Sometimes, The Constitution Isn't Good Enough
- China Bans Eating & Buying Endangered Animals, So Shark Fin Soup Is Off The Menu
- 3 Possible Oscar Pistorius Trial Verdicts, And What They'd Mean For The Blade Runner
- Google+ Just Took A Hit, But Really, Who Uses Google+ Anyway?
- Netflix Gets Its Own Cable Channel On Real TV, But Only A Few People Will Be Able To Tune In
- Vermont Now Requires GMO Labels, And The Change Is Tougher Than It Sounds
- What Microsoft Buying Most Of Nokia Means For You (Hint: Better-Looking Cell Phones)
- I Survived Assault in India, But When I Went To Police, I Was Victim Blamed
- Many Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 Families Are On Hunger Strike & Staging Protests
- I Tried Beezin And Lived To Tell The Tale, But Not Before Washing My Eyes Out With Milk
- CT High-Schooler Stabbed By Male Student After Apparently Turning Down His Prom Invitation
- Meet Dmitry Medvedev, The Dick Cheney To Putin's George Bush: 5 Things You Didn't Know About Russia's Right-Hand Man
- Beware Of The Runaway B31 Iceberg, NASA Warns: It's 6 Times The Size Of Manhattan
- John Boehner Gloriously Mocks His Fellow Republicans Over Immigration: 'Don't Make Me Do This!'
- North Korea Preps For 4th Nuclear Test, But President Obama & South Korea Aren't Having Any Of It
- Drunk Virgin Australia Passenger Tries To Break Into Cockpit, Sparks Hijack Scare
- TIME's 100 Most Influential People: What 10 Public Figures Said About Their High-Profile Friends
- Oregon's Obamacare Exchange To Be Scrapped In Favor of Federal System
- U.S. Army Recognizes Humanism as a Religion In an Important Move For Religious Tolerance
- Europe Won't Sell American Apples Anymore, And We're Terrified By The Reason Why
- Little Girl Hands Michelle Obama Her Unemployed Dad's Resume, Melts Our Hearts
- Your iPhone Could Block Texting If You're Also Driving, Because Apple Doesn't Want You Doing That Either
- Who Is Cliven Bundy? How A Racist Cattle Rancher Become The GOP's Poster Boy
- Obama Played Soccer With A Robot In Japan, And Even He Thought It Was 'A Little Scary' — VIDEO
- Smoking Weed Could Hurt Your Heart, But We Should Take These Findings With A Grain Of Salt
- Cow-Milking Robots Are Here, And The Cows Can Even Choose Where They Want To Be Milked
- 'Facebook Newswire' Wants To Replace Twitter As Every Journalist's BFF
- Ronald McDonald Got A Makeover, Joined Twitter, Is Down With The Kids — And Is Still Creepy
- Will Boeing Be Sued Over Malaysia Airlines Flight 370? Despite The Airline's Shady Past, Probably Not
- How To Argue For Vegetarianism: 7 Common Arguments For Eating Meat, Debunked
- Mississippi's HB 1400 Sets 20-Week Abortion Ban, And It's Actually Even Worse Than It Sounds
- FDA Wants An E-Cigarette Ban For Minors, And This Is Just The First Step
- 3 American Doctors Killed By Afghan Police Officer, Who's Being Treated In The Hospital Where He Opened Fire
- Kidnapped Kid Sings Gospel Until The Annoyed Kidnapper Kicks Him Out
- New Joe Paterno Statue Could Be Built In Pennsylvania, Years After Penn State Removed The Original
- World's Fastest Elevator Is About To Come To China, Making Your Ears Pop Like Never Before
- Late Wikipedia Editor Adrianne Wadewitz Was Exceptional, And If You Use Wikipedia, You'll Miss Her
- Georgia's New 'Guns Everywhere' Law Is Just The Start — Which State Will Broaden Its Firearm Laws Next?
- Georgia Gov. Signs 'Guns Everywhere Bill', Which Is Exactly What It Sounds Like
- Google Street View Figured Out Time Travel, So You Can Go Back To The 90s Like You've Always Wanted — PHOTOS
- What The Supreme Court Ruling On Child-Porn Damages Means For Victims: It's Half A Victory
- New Justice Department Rules Could See Clemency For Thousands Of Non-Violent Drug Offenders
- What Is A Wheel Well, And How On Earth Do You Survive A Flight Sitting In One?
- 'Hot Tub Cinema' Is A Movie Theater Experience With Hot Tubs, And It's Coming To New York City
- Who Is Oscar Pistorius' Judge Thokozile Masipa? The Blade Runner's Fate Comes Down To One Woman
- 7 Things You Didn't Know About Vladimir Putin, The On-The-Market, War-Mongering, Daughter-Hiding Russian President
- Chelsea Manning Can Get A Name Change, But The Army Still Won't Consider Her Hormone Therapy
- Palestinian Factions Come Together To Form Unity Government, But What Does This Mean For Israel?
- Albuquerque Police Department Shoots Third Person in 5 Weeks, Right After The DOJ Calls Them Out For 'Excessive Force'
- Trauma Can Be Genetic & Passed Down To Future Generations Via Sperm, Says Swiss Mice Study
- The World’s Biggest Drinkers Probably Don’t Hail from Where You Think They Do
- Student at North Carolina's Cherryville High School Kicked Out of Prom for Wearing Pants
- Supreme Court's Affirmative Action Ruling Was Wrong Because, Newflash, Racism Still Exists
- This NYPD #myNYPD Twitter Campaign Failed Excruciatingly— PHOTOS
- South Korean Ferry Death Toll Reaches 150, And Hope of Finding The 152 Still Missing Is Slipping Away
- Six Constitutional Amendments Are Needed, Says Former SCOTUS Justice
- Well, Palcohol Is No Longer Approved — So Powdered Alcohol Likely Won't Be A Thing After All
- The CDC Can't Research Gun Violence, And The GOP Wants To Keep It That Way
- Antarctica Was Once As Warm As California, So, Um, Things Have Changed A Bit
- Google Doodles On Earth Day 2014 Are Adorable: Hummingbirds, Chameleons, and Jellyfish, Oh My!
- MO Mayor Who 'Kind Of Agreed' With Anti-Semitic Gunman Decides It's Time To Resign
- North Korea Ups Nuclear Test Site Activity, Which May Be A Reaction To President Obama's Trip
- Pregnant After 30? Autism Rates May Go Up
- Cash Harbors Vagina and Mouth Bacteria, But What Should You Worry About Touching Even More?
- Did Bashar al-Assad Use Chemical Gas To Attack Syrian Citizens Again? It Sure Looks Like It
- Pat Tillman Died 10 Years Ago Tuesday From Friendly Fire, And Here's What We've Learned Since
- NJ Family Takes The Pledge Of Allegiance To Court, Suing For The Right To Strike 'Under God'
- If Your Student Loan Co-Signer Dies, You'll Have To Push Aside Your Grief And Pay In Full — Say What?
- Why Supreme Court Decision To Let Michigan Ban Affirmative Action Isn't Surprising
- Oscar Pistorius Denies Taking Acting Lessons To Prepare For His Murder Trial, But It May Be Too Late
- Uh-Oh, A Netflix Price Hike Is On Its Way
- On Earth Day 2014, 5 Easy Ways To Fight Global Warming, Today
- Joe Biden Offers $50 Million U.S. Aid Package to Kiev, Warns Russia To Back Off Already
- Happy Earth Day! To "Celebrate," Let's Consider How Climate Change Will Impact the Way We Eat
- Glenn Back Slams Mitt Romney For Thank-You Note Snub Two Years Ago
- Supreme Court Won't Revive Arizona's Immigrant-Harboring Law
- Apple's New Ad Insists It Likes Earth Just in Time for Earth Day — And, Surprisingly, it's Not All BS
- Boy Scouts Cut Troops For Supporting Gay Scoutmaster, So It's Time They Learn Something From The Girl Scouts
- Bipartisan Senators Demand 3 Campus Sex-Assault Reforms, And Here's What They Are
- Is Oscar Pistorius Faking It In Court? The Paralympian's Crying, Vomiting, & Hysterics Have Aroused Suspicion
- Buh-Bye, Oscar Mayer Wieners: Kraft Recalls 96,000 Pounds' Worth After A Weird Factory Mix-Up
- The GOP Wants To Be Like Your iPhone, According To Sen. Lamar Alexander (Say What?)
- When Bunnies Have Sex On Live TV: WBIR-TV's Easter Broadcast Took An X-Rated Turn — VIDEO
- Calling Obesity A Disease Makes Obese People More Likely To Eat High-Calorie Foods
- Supreme Court Decision About Aereo Inc. Could End Internet-TV Streaming — I.e. The World As We Know It
- Portland Nearly Got A 'Check Your Privilege Bridge': 9 Other Rejected Names For The Bridge
- Get Ready For BMT, A Sexy 'Female Viagra' Injection From The Makers Of The Equally-Sexy 'Nasal Spray Aphrodisiac'
- Napster's Sean Parker Is Getting Into Politics, And Has Raised Almost $10M For Start-Up 'Brigade'
- Who Won The 2014 Boston Marathon? American Meb Keflezighi Wins, In A First For The U.S. Since 1983
- Iranian President Hassan Rouhani Is Demanding Equal Rights For Women, And It's About Time
- Robots Are Going to Take Over Our Lives by 2040, So Get Ready for the Uprising
- Malaysia Airlines Flight Suffers Burst Tire, Has To Turn Back
- 5 Inspiring Moments From The 2014 Boston Marathon So Far
- Hasbro's Increased Sales Of Girls' Toys Is A Result of 'Girly' Branding, And That's Not A Good Thing
- ER Docs Still Pumping Codeine Into Kids, Even Though The FDA Says That's A Terrible Idea
- Russian Agents Are Storming Ukraine's Buildings, It Seems — Obviously, Putin Calls This 'Nonsense'
- More South Korean Ferry Crew Members Have Been Arrested, And Their President Fully Supports It
- Teenage Stowaway Hitches Ride From California to Hawaii in Jet's Wheel Well, Which Is Miraculous, Apparently
- U.S. Troops Headed To Poland, Estonia In Response To Ukraine Tension
- Train Almost Hits Senator During Press Conference On Train Safety
- Browser Extension Replaces 'Literally' With 'Figuratively,' And That's All It Does
- Spain Most Pro-Gay Country; U.S. Lags Behind 11 Others
- Denver, Colorado's 420 Rally Brings 80,000 Tourists
- Nike Won't Kill FuelBand, But Don't Get Too Comfortable
- Fatal Gunfight in Ukraine Breaks Easter Truce
- South Korea Ferry Death Toll Rises to 52
- Obamacare Site Tells Users to Change Passwords, Because Heartbleed Sucks, A Lot
- Loch Ness Monster Possibly Spotted Via Apple Maps, Which Means Lots of "Experts" Are Super Psyched
- High-Schooler Suspended for Asking Miss America to Prom, Causes Twitter Uproar
- South Korean Ferry Captain Arrested, as Relatives Offer DNA Samples to Help Out the Long Search
- Obama Signs Ted Cruz's Iran Bill
- 'Deport Justin Bieber' Petition Gets White House Response
- Half Of Jailed NYC Youth Have Traumatic Brain Injuries, Study Finds
- Hey, Chelsea Clinton Staged Her Pregnancy to Help Hillary's Presidential Chances! (Says The Right Wing)
- Gillette's New 'ProGlide Flex Ball' Razor Is Next-Level And Totally Unnecessary
- Meet Your New BFF, Powdered Alcohol — Or 'Palcohol'
- Woman Finds Dead Body in Easter Egg Hunt From Hell
- 'Osama Bin Laden: The Matyr' Library Is Open For Business In Pakistan, Ugh
- Rep. Steve King Slams Hillary Clinton For Supporting A Teenage Immigrant, Because Who Does That?
- Sexist Letter From Kickball Team Member: Stop Hooking Up With Female Players, They Can't Handle It!
- Amanda Todd's Alleged Web Harasser Has Finally Been Caught And Charged
- The Latest To 'Evolve' About Gay Marriage? The Lawyer That Argued For Prop 8
- Your Guide To Stormfront, The White Supremacist Porta-Potty Of The Internet
- Japan To Restart Its (Kinda Illegal) Whaling Program, Because Who Cares What The UN Thinks Anyway?
- First ‘Female Penis’ Discovered in Brazil: 6 Other Animals That Have Crazier Sex Lives Than You
- Mr. Met Was Once Threatened By The Secret Service: 'Approach The President, And We Go For The Kill Shot!'
- Hillary Clinton Will Be a Grandmother, But Why In the World Should This Affect Her Campaign?
- New Hampshire Almost, Almost Bans The Death Penalty, But Is Stopped By A Single Vote
- Bush Cracks Penis Joke During Civil Rights Speech, Because Retirement
- The 10 States Where You're Most Likely to Get Arrested for Marijuana Possession Are...
- Somber News: Chipotle To Raise Costs Of Burritos, Tacos, & Burrito Bowls
- Science Just Cloned Adult Cells For The First Time, But Don't Panic Just Yet
- South Korea Ferry's Captain & Crew Face Arrest, And Here's Exactly Why
- Deadly Mount Everest Avalanche Kills 12 Guides
- Chelsea Clinton Is Pregnant, And Her Parents Are Delighted
- Obamacare Hits Eight Million Enrollees In Federal Exchanges; 'It's Time To Move On,' Obama Tells Republicans
- Chelsea Clinton Is Pregnant, And Bill And Hillary's Excited Tweets Are The Best
- An Earth-Like Planet, The Catchily Named 'Kepler-186F,' Was Just Spotted By NASA
- The Secret Behind Baby-Making? A Protein Named 'Juno,' Which Attaches Sperm And Egg – And Bingo!
- Anti-Depressant Use During Pregnancy Linked To Autism In Kids
- Russia, U.S. & EU Agree On A Pact To Calm Down The Ukraine Crisis, Finally
- Ancient Sharks Were Way Less Scary Than Their Nightmarish Present-Day Versions, And We Can Thank Evolution
- These 6 Fascinating Global Views On Sex and Marriage May Make You Move to Argentina
- How Gov. Candidate Beau Biden Compares To Daddy Joe: 5 Things They Do & Don't Have In Common
- Nebraska Elementary School's Bullying Advice Is Victim Blaming for Kids
- Survey Finds Americans Spooked By Drones: 5 Technological Advances We Should Also Be Wary Of
- Facebook's Creepy New 'Nearby Friends' Feature Is Exactly What It Sounds Like
- Female Breadwinners Are On the Rise, But How Are Their Relationships Faring?
- Portland Flushes 38 Million Gallons Of Reservoir Water After Teenager Pees In It, So, Um, Don't Do That
- Like Cheerios On Facebook? You May Be 'Liking' Away Your Right To Sue
- Texas Execution Drug 'Does Kind Of Burn,' Admits Inmate Jose Villegas After Receiving His Injection
- Ukraine's Jews Forced To Register Or Face Deportation, According To Reports
- Turkey To Build Gay-Only Jails, Which Is Meant To 'Protect' LGBT Prisoners But Is Just Kinda Homophobic
- Missing Boy Only Existed On Facebook, It Turns Out, So French Cops Kinda Got... Catfished
- Nokia's Lumia 2520 Chargers Could Shock You (Literally!), Which Is Important News For... 600 People
- Heartbreaking Texts Sent By Missing South Korean Ferry Passengers
- Snowden & Putin Chat On Live Russian TV, Don't Really Hit It Off
- Long Island School Expels Confederate Flag-Wearing Students, Expels Two More In Blackface While They're At It
- A Biden & Obama Selfie Just Made Biden's Brand-New Instagram Account, And It's Magnificent
- Finally, Putin Admits Russia May Invade Ukraine — And Concedes That, Yeah, His Troops Were in Crimea
- Daytime Napping Linked To Early Death, Which Is Possibly The Worst News Of All Time
- Tennessee Could Soon Prosecute Moms Who Take Drugs During Pregnancy, But The Bill's Logic Is Flawed
- 5 Takeaways From The New York Times' Damning Feature On The Jameis Winston Investigation
- London Salon's 'Bad Hair Day' Ad, Which Featured Kim Jong-un, Did Not Please North Korea
- Food Texture Determines Its Calorie Count — At Least In Our Heads, Study Finds
- Obama Launches $600 Million Job-Training Initiative, Which Will Better Train Americans For The Workforce
- Italy's Creepiest Island, Poveglia, Is On The Market — If You're Looking For A Haunted, Grisly Island Of Your Very Own!
- North Dakota Judge Overturns Super-Strict Abortion Law, But Another One May Be On Its Way
- Tsarnaev Can See Victims' Autopsy Photos, Possibly Even Have Unsupervised Family Visits, Judge Rules
- Joe Biden Just Joined Instagram, And Kicked Things Off By Posting The Most Joe Biden Photo Ever
- How Social Media Affects Us: Your Brain on Facebook, Twitter, and More
- GOP's 14 In 14 Initative Proves That, To The Republican Party, Women Are Just Wives And Daughters
- A Crime-Fighting 'Kill Switch' In Smartphones Will Soon Be Mandatory, So Take That, Thieves
- Cliven Bundy Is Just Like Rosa Parks, Says Nevada Ex-Sheriff — And The Feds Are Like The Nazis!
- It's Palindrome Week, So Things Are About To Get Crazy!
- Wendy Davis Is Struggling For The Female Vote In The Race For Texas Governor, And Here's Why
- Kathleen Sebelius Weighing Senate Run, Apparently, In Spite of That Whole Obamacare Thing
- NYPD Finally Cuts Its Muslim Surveillance Unit, But Investigations Into Its Practices Are Far From Over
- That Mitt Romney-Harry Reid Tax Filing Kerfuffle Isn't Going Away — Romney's Son Is Still Tweeting Reid About It
- Michael Bloomberg Takes On NRA With $50 Million Investment In Gun Control, But Who Will Win?
- Going To My Safety School Didn't Ruin My Education. In Fact, It Taught Me Just What I Needed To Learn
- Parrots Name Their Kids, And The Parrot Family Refers To Each Other By Name, Just Like We Do
- Boston Marathon Suffers Bomb Scare On Its Finish Line, Days Before The 2014 Race
- Why Aren't Avocados Extinct? Meant To Die Out Thousands Of Years Ago, They Just Sort Of Didn't
- Casual Pot-Smoking Linked To Less-Casual Brain Changes, Possibly Altering Your Motivation & Emotional Health
- Ukrainian Soldiers Defecting To Pro-Russian Side, Apparently, Which Isn't Great News For Ukraine
- South Korean Ferry Sinks Off South Coast, Leaving 4 Dead and 300 Missing
- On Virginia Tech Shooting Anniversary, Remembering The Day I Almost Lost My Brother
- Finland's Homoerotic Postage Stamps Are Pretty Bold
- Phylis Schlafly: Gender Pay Gap Should Be Even Bigger, So More Women Get Married
- These British Rats Are Cat-Sized, And Immune To Standard Rat Poison
- Obama Corrects The Typo That Lengthened An Inmate's Prison Sentence By Four Years
- Google Is Considering A Contact Lens That Could Be A Game-Changer For The Blind
- This Homeless Jesus Statue In A Wealthy North Carolina Town Has Drawn, Um, Mixed Reactions
- Nevada GOP Strikes Its Opposition To Gay Marriage & Abortion, Which Is A Huge Step (By Republican Standards, Anyway)
- FBI Short Film Warns American Students To Not Spy for China, So, Um, Thanks For That
- Boston Marathon Bombing Anniversary Ceremony: 'My God, You Have Survived, And You Have Soared'
- Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin Signs Anti-Minimum Wage Bill, Which Is Just Sort Of Petty
- Sen. Mary Landrieu's New Campaign Ad Slams Obama's Policies, Which Is A Bold Move For A Democratic Senator
- Asia's Pollution Is Strengthening North American Storms, Apparently, Which Is Exactly As Bad As It Sounds
- Republican-Led States Are Making Divorces Difficult To Get — Unless, Say, Your Husband Can't Get An Erection!
- India Supreme Court Rules Transgender Is The Third Gender, Which Is In Stark Contrast To India's Anti-Gay Laws
- This 'Live Google Earth' Could Be The Next Generation Of Crime Fighting, And It's Called — Wait For It — HAWKEYE
- Google Maps Makes Crimea Part of Russia — But Only For Russian Users
- Tax Day 2014 Is Here! 9 Motivational Pop Culture Moments to Help You Hit the Midnight Deadline
- How To Fight Animal Cruelty: 5 Simple Things You Can Do, Today
- A Weed 'Bud And Breakfast' Is Opening In Denver, Like You Didn't See That One Coming
- Over 24? Your Brain May Already Be Over the Hill, According to Science
- New FDA Grain Rule Could Raise The Price Of Beer, And Ruin A Happy Trade Union Between Farmers & Breweries
- The Dalai Lama Shops At 7-Eleven, Just Like You Do! — PHOTOS
- 15 Brilliant Blood Moon Eclipse Reactions, Because, Let's Face It, You Slept Through It Too
- Pistorius' Hostile Cross-Examination Wraps Up, Complete With Scathing Final Comments From 'Pit Bull' Prosecutor
- On The Anniversary of Boston Marathon Bombings, I Still Feel Lost
- Ukraine Kicks Off 'Anti-Terrorism Operation' Against Pro-Russian Forces, Inching Closer To Civil War
- The Winners Of 2014 Pulitzer Prizes, And How You Can Get Your Hands On Their Award-Winning Works
- U.S. Airways' Statement On Porn-Plane Photo Is Awkward And Apologetic, As You'd Expect
- Ocean Acidification Makes Fish Swim Toward Predators, And You Can Imagine How Well That Turns Out
- Optimists Have Lower Risk of Heart Failure, So Turn that Frown Upside Down
- French Cops DNA Test 500 Schoolboys On A Mission To Track Down A Rapist
- U.S. Airways Tweets X-Rated Photo At The Unsuspecting World, And We Can Never, Ever Unsee It
- Google Will Buy Drone-Maker Titan Aerospace, A Start-Up Everyone Expected To Be Bought — By Facebook
- Facebook Is Prepping A Money-Transfer Feature, Apparently, Which Would Make It... 'Facebank'?
- AbbVie's Experimental Hep C Drug Cured 95% Of Sufferers In Early Trials, Which Would Be Incredible
- Sex Toy Found Inside Fish Caught By Norweigan Fisherman, Because Cods Have Needs Too, Duh
- 49er Linebacker Aldon Smith Arrested For Fake Bomb Threat At LAX
- Is My Cell Phone Dangerous to My Health? What You Don't Know About Electromagnetic Fields Might Be Hurting You
- Wisconsin GOP Want State To Secede, But This Isn't The First Bizarre Legislation They've Proposed
- KFC Debuts Chicken Corsage, Because Drumsticks Belong Everywhere — Even on Your Prom Dress!
- Man Tries To Jump Off Southwest Flight Mid-Air, Doesn't Manage It
- Young Dads Can Get Postpartum Depression, Too
- Female CEO Gets Creepy Email From Job Applicant, Which Would Never Happen To A Male Boss
- Man Sentenced To Hold "I AM A BULLY" Sign On Street Corner After Years Of, Well, Bullying — PHOTO
- 'Pit Bull' Prosecutor Tears Into Pistorius, Who Wails: 'I Did Not Fire At Reeva!' Before Being Pulled Off Stand
- Teen Arrested After Tweeting Al Qaeda 'Joke' At American Airlines (Never A Good Idea, BTW)
- How Do You Know If You're Being Stalked? With Textual Harassment, Policies Need an Update
- Black Box From Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 Has Probably Expired, So Search Crews Have A Plan B
- Kansas Jewish Center Shooter Was An Ex-KKK Leader And White Supremacist
- Polar Vortex Leads to Horrible Allergy Season
- U.N. Climate Panel Says We Need to Switch to Clean Energy Right Now
- Report: FedEx Truck That Hit California Charter Bus Was On Fire Before Crash
- Ukraine Launches "Anti-Terrorist Operations" in Eastern City
- Was Johnny Depp Subpoenaed For A Murder Trial? If You Believe Rumors, Yes
- Amazon to Release 3-D Smartphone, As The Battle of Tech Conglomerates Continues
- Teen Binge Drinking Linked to Pop Music Alcohol References, But Is This Really Surprising?
- NASA Will Be Testing Flying Saucers This Summer, Which Just Proves We're Living in the Future
- Malaysia Airline Black Box Pings Are Fading Fast, Which Means We're Really Running Out of Time
- 4 Ways My Google Glass Experience Left Me Disillusioned
- The Windows XP 'Bliss' Background Is A Real Photograph, And Here's How It Happened
- NSA Exploited Heartbleed Bug To Gather Intelligence, According To Reports, Which Surprises No-One
- The 'Let Me Google That For You Act Of 2014' Is A Real, Live Bill Introduced This Week
- Why Publishing A Bird Flu-Human Transmission Guide Was An Incredibly Dumb Idea
- Pot Brownie-Selling Teen Could Be Deported, And That Tells Us A Lot About Immigration Reform
- Pistorius Prosecutor Hammers The Athlete, Again: 'You're A Liar ... You Are Trying To Cover Up For Lies'
- Hillary Clinton Dodges Shoe Hurled At Her on Stage: 7 Other Times Politicians Got Majorly Dissed
- New State, New Scott Brown, Or So He Says — But Can He Win The New Hampshire Senate Seat?
- Homeland Security Statement On 'Heartbleed' Bug Tries To Be Reassuring, Fails
- 'Drop Dropbox' Petition Demands: Fire Condoleezza Rice From Board, Or We'll All Stop Using Dropbox
- Childhood Amnesia: Here’s the Reason You Can’t Remember Anything That Happened Before Age 3
- Lab-Grown Vaginas Are A Thing, And They've Been Successfully Implanted Into 4 Women
- UPS Trucks Only Make Right Turns, Because Efficiency, Or Something
- Chick-fil-A Plans to Open Stores In New York City, Which Should Go Over Really Well
- Google Glass Going On Sale In California Next Week — For One Day, And One Day Only
- The 'Entrain' App Can Help You Kick Jetlag, And It's All Down To Light Explosure
- Fiery California Tour Bus Crash Kills 10, Injures More Than 30
- Hillary Rodham Clinton Dodges A Shoe Thrown At Her Onstage, Laughs It Off, Because She's Hillary
- Health Secretary Kathleen Sebelius Resigns, Less Than A Year After Botched Obamacare Rollout
- Breast Enhancement Ads May Be Banned On the NYC Subway But All the Other Obscene Stuff Can Stay
- Snow Is Covering Less Than One-Tenth Of America, For The First Time In — Wince — Five Months!
- Did Jesus Have A Wife? Ancient Papyrus Suggests He Did, And Researchers Believe It Might Be Real
- 'Minimum Wage Challenge' Attempted By A Handful Of Lawmakers, Which Sees Them Eating $2 Meals For A Week
- Transgender Teacher Laura Jane Klug Suspended After Parent Complaints, So That Sends Students the Right Message
- Bill de Blasio On Always Being Late: Hell, At Least I'm Not George W. Bush!
- Putin Threatens Europe With Gas Shortages In Aggressive Letter
- Jar Of Clean Air Sells For $860 In Smog-Filled China
- Walmart To Launch Organic Food Line 'Wild Oats,' Which Is An Ironic Choice
- Why Did Alex Hribal Stab His High School Classmates? We Don't Know, And We Should Stop Speculating
- Now Burger King Has Invaded Crimea, Gleefully Replacing McDonald's On The Peninsula
- 80 Percent (!!!) of Teens Have Had No Formal Sex Education Before They Have Sex for the First Time
- 'Heartbleed' Bug Prompts Canada To Shutter Online Tax Services
- One Child Dies, 13 Injured in Florida Day Care Hit-and-Run
- Teen Suspect of Pennsylvania School Stabbing to be Charged as Adult
- Ayaan Hirsi Ali Won't Get Honorary Degree From Brandeis University After All
- Brooklyn Woman Receives Birthday Letter Sent By Her Mother In 1969
- Men With Eating Disorders Don't Get Anywhere Near Enough Support, And Don't Seek Out The Help They Need
- Arthritis Supplement Prolonged Life In Mice Study — By Mimicking The Effects Of A Low-Carb Diet
- Medicare Releases Billing Records For The First Time In 30 Years, And The Data Is Startling
- Teacher Wouldn't Unfriend Her Students On Facebook, But Her New Hampshire School Insisted, So She Quit
- The Oldest-Ever Message In A Bottle Just Washed Up Off The Coast Of Germany
- Sweden Is Trying Out Six-Hour Workdays, And We're Insanely Jealous
- Idiot Tree Poachers Target Californian Redwoods, And Are Literally Tearing Out The Trees' Hearts To Make Furniture
- There's A Bacon Shortage In America, Thanks To A Piglet Virus Epidemic, And This Is Not A Drill
- UMass Shooting Guard Derrick Gordon Is College Basketball's First Openly Gay Player, So Hallelujah
- Rep. McAllister Keeps Job, But The Staffer He Kissed Is Out... Which Makes Zero Sense
- Right Wing Commentator Roberto Oscar Lopez Says Same-Sex Adoption Is Slavery. Literally, He Said That.
- Mississippi Sex Ed Says Homosexuality is Illegal: 5 Vintage Lessons That Are Still Less Dated
- George W. Bush's Paintings Were Copied From Google Images — But At Least George Knows How To Google, Eh?
- Jonathan Fleming Spent 25 Years In Prison For A Wrongful Murder Conviction, And He Might Not Be The Only One
- Mississippi Sex Ed Teaches That Being Gay Is Illegal, Because, Well, It's Mississippi
- Proud Mom Jodi Gholson Celebrates Transgender Son in Best Way Possible
- Oscar Pistorius Hammered By Prosecutor In Cross-Examination, Shown Grotesque Post-Mortem Photo
- 'Noah' Screening Canceled After Theater Floods, Which Is Irony At Its Finest
- Australia Is About To Find Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, Or So It Thinks
- High School Stabbing In Pittsburgh Area Leaves 20 Injured
- The 'Heartbleed' Bug Is Why You Shouldn't Log In to Online Banking Today — And Yes, You Should Be Worried
- Marine Shot Dead At North Carolina Military Base, Just Days After Rampage At Fort Hood
- California's Anti-SeaWorld Bill Stalled For Now, So The Orca Shows Will See Another Day
- Obamacare Protects Against Gender Discrimination, But Won't Offer Same Protections For LGBT Community
- Liz Cheney Fires Back At Nancy Pelosi: 'Her Spine Doesn't Seem To Reach Her Brain' (Ouch!)
- Smart Car Tipping Is San Francisco's Answer To Cow Tipping, But Why? (Seriously, Why?)
- 3 Straight-Up Insane Reasons People Ran For Office: Raccoons, Evolution, And Gold-Fringed Flags
- Kerry: Putin Is Pulling Strings In Ukraine, Namely Paying People There To Cause Trouble
- Use Emoji To Search Yelp, And Probably Save... No Time At All
- Rand Paul Accused Dick Cheney Of Pushing Iraq War For Halliburton Profit In 2009, So The GOP's Cracks Are Nothing New
- Yale Threatens to Suspend 92-Pound Student For Being Too Skinny, And Apparently, That's Standard Protocol
- Caffeine May Prevent Alzheimer's, As If You Needed Another Reason to Down that Iced Coffee
- Al Sharpton, Mob Informant? Sort Of, The Pastor Admits, But Not In The Way You Think
- Uh-Oh, Vegetarian Diet Linked To Cancer, Allergies, And 'Lower Quality Of Life' — Steak Frites, Anyone?
- Mysterious Space Plane Has Been In Orbit For 500 Days, And The Pentagon Won't Say Why
- Today Is Equal Pay Day...But Is The Gender Wage Gap A Myth?
- Watch Out, Kids, That Cookie Monster Could Be A Neo-Nazi In Disguise
- LOL, JK: Fox News Is Wrong About Climate Change Three-Quarters Of The Time
- Take That, Robots — Toyota Is Done With Automatons, Decides It's Time To Try Humans Again
- Electrical Stimulator Could Help The Paralyzed Move Again, And It's Already Worked For Four People
- Twitter Redesign Looks Familiar... Wait, Facebook, Is That You?
- Pistorius Pulled Off Stand After Breaking Down: 'I Needed To Protect Myself... I Needed To Protect Reeva And I'
- Why Immigration Is Good: 7 Common Arguments Against Reform, Debunked
- El Niño 2014 Is Set To Be A Monster, But What Exactly Is It?
- Russia Threatens Ukraine With Civil War, So Putin Really Isn't Backing Down With This One
- Rep. Vance McAllister Caught Kissing Staffer On Video
- Senate Passes Unemployment Insurance Extension, But House Unlikely To Follow Suit
- Americans Who Can't Find Ukraine On A Map Are More Likely To Support Military Force In Ukraine
- Nancy Pelosi & Miley Cyrus Mash-Up Featured In New Breitbart Ad Campaign, And It's Both Sexist And Bizarre
- 9-Month-Old Pakistani Baby Charged With Attempted Murder, And We're Flabbergasted
- Could Jeb Bush Run For President? A Guide To The GOP's Possible Presidential Candidate
- One Volcanic Island Just Ate Another, And The Combination Looks Like... Snoopy?!
- The UN Is Still Ashamed About The Rwandan Genocide, 20 Years Later
- Injectable Oxygen Could Let You Survive Without Breathing, In A Research Trial That Sounds Like Science Fiction (But Isn't)
- The Cost of Quitting Smoking Is Higher If You’re Poor, So that Sucks
- Al Jazeera Journalists Have Been Detained In Egypt For 100 Days Now
- Ted Kennedy Jr. Is Eying A Connecticut Senate Seat, So The Kennedys Are Getting Back In The Game
- Comic Sans Has Become 'Comic Neue' — The Made-Over, Grown-Up Typeface Coming Soon To A Flyer Near You
- Supreme Court Won't Hear Case Of Photographer Snubbing Gay Marriage, Which Is Great News
- Mark 'Coonrippy' Brown Loves His Raccoon So Much, He's Running For Tennessee Governor On Her Behalf
- House Republicans Just Quietly Extended Obamacare, And Here's Why
- Oscar Pistorius Finally Takes The Stand, Testifies He 'Can't Sleep' And Can Still 'Smell Blood'
- 17 Ways You Know You're a True San Francisco Local
- Stanford Blood Test Could Detect Cancer In Its Early Stages, Which Would Be A Huge, Huge Deal
- #NotABugSplat Poster Shows U.S. Drone Operators In Pakistan Exactly Who They're Affecting
- HIV Prevention Drug Truvada Is Either A Party Drug Or A Lifesaver, Depending On Who You Ask
- Will Putin Invade Eastern Ukraine Next? Pro-Russia Protesters Call On The President To Send In Troops
- Harvey Milk Postage Stamp Design Revealed
- AirAsia's In-Flight Magazine: 'Your Plane Will Never Get Lost'
- Eastern Ukrainian Government Buildings Seized By Pro-Russian Demonstrators
- Obama Targets Wage Gap With Executive Orders
- Mazda Recalls Spider-Infested Sedans, Because The Spiders Might Make The Cars Explode
- Yahoo! Plans Original Online Programming in an Effort to Join the Ranks of Netflix & Amazon
- President Obama Will Attend Fort Hood Memorial Service Wednesday
- 192,000 Jobs Added in March, Unemployment Stays Steady
- Search Ships Head Toward Location of Possible Malaysia Airlines Signal
- Ketamine Could Help Treat Severe Depression, But Frankly That's Just Kind of Terrifying
- Harvey Milk to Be First Openly Gay Official on Stamp, And It Only Took...37 Years
- Fort Hood Shooter Frustrated By Paperwork, So We Can Stop Calling It PTSD
- A Chinese Ship Detected a Ping, Which Could Mean the Malaysia Airline's Black Box Has Been Found
- Bridgegate Gets Federal Grand Jury Probe; Results To Be Released During GOP Presidential Primary
- Ohio Judge Rules That The State Must Recognize Same-Sex Marriages Performed Elsewhere
- Adorable Sheep-Goat Mix Born In Ireland, And It's Called — Wait For It – A 'Geep'
- Russian Ambassadors Joke About Stealing Scotland, Alaska, Tra-La-La, Why Stop At Crimea?
- Google Tries To Trademark The Word 'Glass,' Because Its World Takeover Is Now Extending To The English Language
- SC Mom Whose Baby Overdosed On Morphine In Breast Milk Sentenced To 20 Years
- Ebola Death Toll Rises In West Africa, Has Spread From Guinea To Neighboring Countries
- Stanford Launches 'Second Career' Institute For Retirees, Because A Cruise Just Wouldn't Be Stimulating Enough
- Sports Radio Host Slams Daniel Murphy's Paternity Leave, Like a Hypocrite
- Clinical Trials Feature Almost No Minorities, And That's A Huge Problem
- George W. Bush's Paintings Are Indescribable, But Here's How The Ex-President Describes Each One
- Golf Digest Puts Hot Ladies On Its Cover, But Not Lady Golfers
- Putin Dissed George Bush's Dog In The Most Putin Way Ever: 'You Really Call That A Dog?
- This New Atomic Clock Is Way More On Time Than You (And Will Be For The Next 300 Million Years)
- Cornell Student Makes Bees Sting Him 190 Times, All In The Name Of Research
- 2 AP Journalists Shot In Afghanistan, One Fatally, On The Eve Of The Country's Elections
- White House Has Stern Words For President Obama & David Ortiz' Selfie, So The Glory Days Of Presidential Selfies May Be Over
- John Kerry Fed Up With Stagnant Middle Eastern Peace Talks: It's 'Reality Check Time'
- 'Gone With the Wind' Prequel 'Ruth’s Journey' Must Reveal the Atrocities of Being Mammy
- Media Gender Bias: Women Present Only 26 Percent Of News Stories, Study Finds
- Contraception Ban At Oklahoma Hospital Lifted After Social Media Backlash
- NPR Pranked The Internet On April Fools, And Embarrassed A Slew Of Hapless Internet Commenters
- Pope Francis And Queen Elizabeth Meet At The Vatican, And The Pope Had A Pretty Sweet Gift For Prince George
- Mozilla CEO Brendan Eich Resigns In The Wake Of A Massive Backlash Over His Anti-Gay Views
- This New Online Tool Can Identify Racial Disparities At Your Old High School
- Is The Yellowstone Volcano About To Blow? Video Of Animals Fleeing Freaks Everyone The Hell Out
- A Spotify 'Playlust' For Your Safe-Sex Enjoyment Is Here
- Your Daily Light Exposure Can Effect Your Weight. Just Go With It.
- New Antidote For Heroin Overdoses Could Soon Be Carried By Cops And Carers
- Why Cap'n Crunch Is Even Creepier Than You Thought, According To Science
- SeaWorld Has Been Drugging Its Orcas With Valium And Xanax, And The Marine Park's PR Nightmare Can't Get Much Worse
- Lawsuit Claims Woman Was Frozen Alive By LA Hospital: 7 Other Bizarre Mistaken Deaths
- Obama Has A Crafty Midterms Plan, And It Involves A Huge Push For Raised Minimum Wage
- The Fort Hood Shooting: What We Know So Far
- Bill Clinton Has A Lot Of Feelings About Aliens, Area 51, And the Roswell Papers
- Why Congress Sneakily Created A 'Cuban Twitter' And Filled It With Sports And Music
- EPA Tested Pollutants On Humans — Without Telling Them About The Cancer Risk
- Exasperated NASA Cuts Contact With Russia Space Reps: Moscow, We Have A Problem
- Kent State on Lockdown After Reports of Gunfire
- UPDATE: Shooting At Fort Hood: Four Dead And More Than A Dozen Others Injured, Gunman Commits Suicide
- Mississippi Passes Pro-Discrimination 'Religious Freedom' Bill, Just Weeks After Arizona Narrowly Escaped The Same Thing
- Texas Executions Are Suspended Until The State Discloses The Lethal Drugs They're Planning To Use
- Open Letter By Harvard Student on Rape Raises Questions About Sexual Assault on Campus
- Hobby Lobby Invests In Contraception Makers, It Turns Out, Which Is Irony At Its Finest
- Vladimir Putin Is Back On The Market! Cha-Ching, Now's Your Chance...
- Gov. Bobby Jindal Has A Healthcare Plan, And Another For The White House
- Florida GOP Candidate Jake Rush Plays Politics By Day, And Role-Plays As A Vampire By Night
- Most Doctors Want Marijuana Legalization — Even More Than The Rest Of America Does, Study Finds
- This Novartis Heart Failure Drug Could Be Groundbreaking If Approved, Though 'LCZ696' Isn't The Catchiest Name In The World
- General Motors' Faulty Ignitions Could've Been Fixed For 57 Cents Before Anyone Died, So Why Weren't They?
- Supreme Court Culls Political Donation Limits, Giving Wealthy Donors A Better Shot At Influencing Elections
- Californians Trying To Call Obamacare Get A Sex Hotline, Proving That Signing Up For Healthcare Doesn't Have To Be Dull
- This Fake School Shooting Text Was One Of The Worst April Fools' Day Pranks Ever
- Palestine Derails Middle Eastern Peace Talks By Cozying Up To The UN
- Malaysia: What Happened To Flight 370 Might Always Be A Mystery, As The Jet's Black Box Is About To Expire
- Chile Earthquake Triggers Power Cuts, A Small Tsanami, And Even A Prison Break
- Earthquake In Chile Causes Tsunami, Landslides — And A Prison Break
- At Paycheck Fairness Act Hearing, Republican Asks: What About Men?
- Washington D.C. Decriminalizes Marijuana Possession, Heads To Feds For Approval
- Long Island Teen Has His Pick Of The Ivy League Crop, And We Can't Say We Feel Bad For His Dilemma
- Zebras Have Stripes To Repel Flies, Not To Hide Themselves As Everybody Thought — Which Makes Sense, Because Stripes Are Not Subtle
- 10 April Fools' Day News Story Headlines That Look Like Jokes ... But Actually Aren't
- NATO Suspends Cooperation With Russia, Not That Penalties Have Ever Changed Putin's Mind About Anything
- Paul Ryan Unveils Republican Budget, A Dramatic 2015 Plan That's Futile But Politically Smart
- 3 Corporate April Fools' Day Pranks That Went Horribly Wrong (Hooters, We're Looking At You)
- These 4 International Drinks Will Give You The Worst Hangover Of Your Life
- Bill Clinton Won Twitter On April Fools' Day By Channelling Hillary, And We Love Him For It
- Death Row Inmate Issued Retrial Just Before Her Scheduled Execution, In 'Extraordinary And Extreme Rare' Court Decision
- Teens Are Smoking Coffee For That Sweet, Sweet Caffeine High, Apparently — Except, They're Probably Not
- NATO Admits Putin Isn't Backing Down Over Ukraine, So It'll Ramp Up Its Own Military Presence In Eastern Europe
- Glenn Beck Sued By Boston Bombing Victim, Whom Beck Called The 'Money Man' Behind The Attack (Completely Incorrectly)
- How To Argue For Obamacare: 7 Common Arguments Against The Affordable Care Act, Debunked
- Last Words From Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 Cockpit Were "Good Night, Malaysian Three Seven Zero," It Now Emerges
- 10 Sweet Things I’d Buy With My Tax Return, If I Was Lucky Enough to Get One
- West Virginia's 20-Week Abortion Ban Vetoed — By Governor Who Opposes Abortions
