Her New Movie May Not Be Good For Women

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... is precisely how I feel about the upcoming Will Ferrell and Adam McKay-produced comedy now-starring Amanda Seyfried called He’s F---ing Perfect. The film, according to The Hollywood Reporter is described as follows:

Perfect is the story of one woman, pessimistic in love, who regularly uses the Internet to research the men her friends are dating, acting as a vetting device for them to weed out losers. Things take a turn when she gets a friend to dump a new guy in order to steal the man for herself, using her social media savvy to turn herself into his perfect match.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! I say, once again. At first glance the plot sounds, a bit, well, overly-cliched and sort of bad for women. A woman who spends her free time obsessing over men… and then sabotages a friend’s relationship of her own romantic gain... and could possibly destroy her own friendship for some dude she barely knows. EHHHHHHHHHHHM. Not sure about this one.

However, it’s got Ferrell and McKay behind it, two guys who have produced slap-sticky mega-hits like Anchorman, The Other Guys, and the glory that is Drunk History. And, the project is in fact written by a woman, Lauryn Kahn (Praise Jeebus!). She’s behind loads of comedic shorts for Funny or Die and was McKay’s former assistant. It might be her first major full-feature, but it’s clear she knows comedy, and writes it well.

So maybe, MAYBE the film could actually be a gross-out physical comedy starring women that’s more about their relationships to each other and less about the dud(e)s they date. I might not love a movie that pits women against each other in tired stereotypes, but I sure do love a finely-crafted poop joke. Call me crazy! Wait, please, don’t actually call me crazy, that’s terrible for women.

Like I said, the film has A LOT of potential with Ferrell, McKay, Seyfried, Kahn and Director Jake Szymanski (Funny or Die) on board. Especially since Kahn’s shorts are often satirical when it comes to gender. And since the gang behind the film are so very clutch at parodies and making fun of themselves (as in, they can take the joke), here are a few potential twists and spin-offs on the seemingly cringey plot that make me want to roll my eyes less:

More Smarts, Less Jealousy

Perfect is the story of one woman, pessimistic in love, who regularly uses the Internet to research the men her friends are dating, because she’s a Mensa-level genius who has created algorithms of love based on modern-day digital mating behaviors. She’s had her heart broken too many times and decides she wants to try and prevent her friends from being hurt. When everything is available at the swipe of a touch screen, what’s love got to do with it? EVERYTHING.

Bond, Jane Bond

Perfect is the story of one CIA Agent, pessimistic in love, who regularly uses her high-level government access to research the company her friend is working for. It seems like just another Brooklyn-based cupcakery, but with a little digging, she finds out IT’S A COVER FOR ALIEN LIFE. It’s Men in Black meets Bridesmaids meets The Heat.

If we’ve learned anything from Toto it’s that “Love isn’t Always on Time”

Perfect is the story of one woman, pessimistic in love, who regularly uses time travel to research the men her friends are dating. She warps into their past lives to see if they were saints, sinners, poets, warriors, kings, or undeveloped amoebas. Can you ever truly love something that was once a sack of goo? Aren’t we all just that at our core? Perfect tries to find answers to those existential questions.

Because Technology Ain’t Just for Snoopin’

Perfect is the story of two women, pessimistic in love, who regularly use the Internet to keep in touch across the Atlantic ocean. Their friendship has spanned decades and now must span continents. What happens when your bestie moves to Spain for a year and you have to tell her about last night’s horrible date or that weird smell coming from your belly button? Because some things are just sacred between best friends. But when your best friend is off having (what seems to be) perfect adventures and you’re still at home will time zones and miles get in the way? A story of friendship, fluids, and Skype.

And for some of Kahn’s hilarious writing, check out this: