Attention all fellow humans: you are not living your best life right now. But don't panic just yet, because Jess Hendels' "Winin' Solo" parody of "Ridin' Solo" by Jason DeRulo is here to guide you on the path to following your Friday bliss. This parody should be especially relevant to your interests in this exact moment now, when you are at the crossroads of pretending you and your friends are still going to keep all your plans to go outside in public and do stuff tonight, when secretly all you want to do is pick cracker crumbs out of your sports bra as you claw your way through a one-woman cheese eating marathon set to reruns of 30 Rock.
Well guys, that isn't just a dream. The dream is real, and Jess is living it, one bottle of cheap wine at a time. Might I politely suggest you SIT YOUR SAD FRIDAY SELF DOWN and learn what it really means to be a millennial by watching this video. In Jess's own words: "This one is for all my people who will NOT be hittin up the club tonight - because you'd honestly rather drink wine by yoself, bingewatch netflix and take a block of cheese to the FACE."
In case you missed the very valuable lessons from Jess's infinite wisdom, here are the very important ones to bear in mind:
If Oreos Weren't There, It Didn't Really Happen
Oreos are basically the new version of "Pics or it didn't happen." In fact, if an Oreo does not officiate your wedding, it is not valid in these United States.
Do Not Let An Inch Of Your Couch Go Unmarred By Your Debauchery
The couch is your only bae now.
Wine, Wine, Wine
Wiiiiiiiine.
Now get outta here, you punks, and get ye to the nearest cheap wine store and into thy sweatpants. Duty calls.
Images: YouTube(4)
