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Twitter Rewrites The Bible, Trump-Style

by Chris Tognotti

At its best, Twitter lets people from all over the world unite over shared joys, passions, and loves. Pastimes that delight them, even if nobody else they know would feel the same way. And if you can't get enough of our ever-absurd presidential politics, odds are you enjoy a good Trump joke every now and then, and the Trump Bible hashtag on Twitter is hilarious.

That's right, #TrumpBible. As in, the Bible as rewritten by Trump. Obviously, I respect and appreciate that there might be some Biblical believers out there who don't like their Good Book being associated with Donald J. Trump. If I were religious, I reckon I wouldn't either.

But you have to tip your caps to some of these first-rate pseudo-Trumpisms. The trick to a good Trump joke on Twitter is to emulate the entire package — the distinct, halting style, the sorely limited, aggressively overrused insult vocabulary, the unearned sense of universal authority. It's a rich enough stew on its own, but when you blend it with a decent dose of Biblical humor, it gets all the more delicious. Here's a mere sampling of what's been going on at #TrumpBible:

Trump's faith was never a particularly public part of his life up until his presidential run — he's a Presbyterian, and has referred to the Bible as his "favorite book" on a number of occasions. Recently, however, when asked for his favorite Bible verses in an interview with Bloomberg, he declined to say, calling it "very personal." That was basically the reason all this mockery was set off in the first place, so I guess we all have him to thank for it.

Trump hasn't always used very reverential language when discussing his faith, however. During a July appearance at the Family Leadership Summit in Iowa, as CNN detailed, he described the act of Holy Communion as consuming "my little wine" and "my little cracker."

When I drink my little wine — which is about the only wine I drink — and have my little cracker, I guess that is a form of asking for forgiveness, and I do that as often as possible because I feel cleansed.

People have been tweeting on the #TrumpBible hashtag for well over a day now — hopefully we'll get at least a few more of these gems before Twitter moves on to the next big, collective joke.