'Hunger Games' Writer Penning This Musical Remake

Full disclosure: There is not a movie being made called Hungry Dolls, nor do I think there should be (because dolls don't eat, ya silly goose!). However, the screenwriter behind The Hunger Games: Mockingjay (parts one and two), Danny Strong, has been tapped to write the musical remake of Guys and Dolls . The Broadway musical was transformed into a Hollywood hit, starring Marlon Brando and Frank Sinatra, in 1955. So in Hollywood years, it's long overdue for a remake. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Channing Tatum are rumored to be starring, and while hiring the guy behind 2013's hottest YA franchise might seem like an odd choice, we don't think so. And to prove just how appropriate it is for the worlds of Hunger Games and Guys and Dolls to collide, let's envision what would happen if Katniss starred in the Tony winning musical.

Luck Be a Lady

We wouldn't exactly call Katniss "lucky", but the Mockingjay, the pendant she wears in the games and the symbol of hope and revolution, certainly is. Instead of "blowing on the dice" for lucky betting, perhaps Katniss would kiss her pendant three times to win a game of craps.

Panem is the New Havana

Screw trying to get your girl to accompany you to Havana for dinner, what about trying to hunt your own meal in District 12? If Katniss was in G&D, not only would she not fall for men placing bets on her, she'd be the one calling the shots, and making the men do the dirty work. Who's gonna gut this squirrel? Anyone?

Instead of Betting on Cards, They'll Bet Lives

A game of craps? A hand of 21? Try surviving in an arena with bloody-thirsty tributes who have been trained to kill. In Katniss's Guys and Dolls, the men will place bets on who will survive in the arena, and who will be a cannon sounding in the sky. This ain't your grandma's game of bridge.

Katniss Will Trade in the song-and-dance numbers of the original for sad, emo songs

Just as she crooned over Rue's dying body and sang songs of reassurance to Prim when she couldn't sleep, Katniss will say adios to the cheery numbers of the original Guys and Dolls, and opt for more sinister ballads. Like a song about that time Peeta tried to kill her after he was brainwashed by the Capitol, or that time her sister Prim was blown-up trying to further the revolution which she herself started. #PanemProblems

An Updated Up Do'

Assuming the reboot will get a modern makeover, why not opt for the ladies to be wearing their hair in long, side-swept braids á la Katniss (and President Snow's granddaughter), instead of the short curls popular in the 1950s?

Image: uproxx