Your Skinny Jeans Are Killing The Dollar

Here's something we never thought we'd say: your skinny jeans are doing real, physical damage to the U.S. dollar. No, not the economy — the physical, paper dollar, which happens to be made by a single company, Crane, the Washington Post revealed Tuesday. Let us explain: Crane turns a ton of leftover denim into the cotton-blend fabric that then becomes your $20 bill ... and even since the skinny-jean craze took hold and never let go, denim has become meshed with lycra to create a tighter, skinnier skinny-jean fit.

So what does this mean? Well, lycra "contaminates" the denim, making it impossible to turn into dollar bills. And in recent years, it's become near-impossible for Crane to find any denim that isn't ruined by lycra. Hence, no more dollar bills. But don't panic just yet: Crane's been hunting for cotton straight from the source, and has abandoned its denim origins entirely.

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And finally ... what a headline.