Life

Toddler Bawls Because She Doesn't Have A Boyfriend

If you think your first love ended in heartbreak, you're about to get story-topped — by a toddler, at that. There is no love story quite as heart wrenching as that of this little girl who thinks she has a boyfriend, and is utterly devastated when her father reminds her that no, in fact, she does not. To make this revelation even more brutal, two-year-old Kennedy even has a name for this phantom boyfriend of hers — and poor Jared The Boyfriend is probably feeling especially upset about this, wherever he may be.

I strongly suspect that this adorably emotional baby is about to become the Taylor Swift of her generation. Not only does she look like bb Taylor, but she is every bit as passionate and determined as Taylor when it comes to love. So yes, although Kennedy's father has banned her from dating until she's 50 (seems reasonable), there is no doubt in my mind that she and Jared can endure the brutal wait. And in the meantime, Kennedy can amuse all of us with her adorable shenanigans, and with whatever imaginary boyfriend she conjures up next week.

Watch Kennedy's heartbreak unfold in this video of All Of Us in junior high:

Her mother Chelsea posted:

Kennedy came home last night and told her daddy she has a boyfriend and he told her she couldn't have one so she started crying! I had to video this! I'm sure this is the first of many arguments over boyfriends but we didn't expect the first one to be at 2!#daddysinforit #dramaqueen

I'm actually genuinely intrigued by this, though. Maybe Jared is an actual person in her life, but if he isn't — if she really did just think it up herself — that's some next level kid weirdness. You hear all these stories about kids supposedly being more in touch with potential ~past lives~ when they're still really young. Psychiatrist Jim Tucker of the University of Virginia investigates children's claims of past lives, and the results are eerie and fascinating. The theory is that by the time kids can verbalize memories, most of them have outgrown their ability to recall them in detail or have forgotten.

Or maybe Jared is just a really hot guy at the checkout market, or a really adorable dog, or even the undeniably hottest Jared of them all:

In the meantime, stay strong, Kennedy. You'll be 50 before you know it!

Images: Chelsea Kirkland/Facebook Video; Giphy