AVN award-winning porn star Stoya is crush-worthy not only for her onscreen talents, but for her erudite commentary on human sexuality and porn that has appeared everywhere from The New York Times to Bustle. Unlike some porn stars who work to maintain the erotic facade which pornography manufactures, Stoya deftly breaks down the barriers between fantasy and reality with no-holds-barred real talk. She champions sex-positivity at every turn — but not without a critical eye — and is kinda the friend you wish you had when tough questions about sex and relationships arise IRL.
On top of all that, Stoya believes in gender equality, and, according to a piece she wrote for Vice, is a feminist who embraces what the movement has afforded her with a simultaneous awareness that some aspects of her job are decidedly unfeminist. Oh, and she made a scene-stealing appearance in Amanda Palmer's music video "Do It With A Rockstar," she recently made the move to directing with her own porn site Trenchcoat X, and writes about coming out as a porn star in a new book called (unsurprisingly) Coming Out Like A Porn Star . If these aren't reason enough to make Stoya a sex-positive superstar, I don't know what is. Here are five times Stoya's sex-positivity ruled.
1. When She Opened Up About Her Abortions
Stoya was shouting her abortion long before it became a trending hashtag. Any time a powerful woman publicly speaks up about her experience it helps to chip away at the stigma every woman faces.
2. When She Said We Should Stop Treating Porn Like Sex Ed
In her sex advice column for The Verge, Stoya recently took the idea that porn can replace sex ed to task. The question she answered was from a man who wanted to know how he could have the stamina of porn actors. She responded with a succinct (yet funny) explanation of how our woeful state of sexual education in the country leads to a lot of problems in the bedroom. "We need better sexual education," she wrote. "And apparently we also need better pornographic education to provide context for what people are seeing. Because for some reason people can watch a car chase scene in a movie and understanding that it isn’t meant as a model of how to drive, but when it comes to porn everything just goes sort of sideways." Snaps to that, girl.
3. When She Told Us Where To Find Porn We Like
Tired of sifting through the super unsexy muck and mire of PornHub to find the vids that will get you off? Who better to give advice than an industry insider! Stoya was a guest on "I Want It That Way," Bustle's sex podcast and discussed her "origin myth," feminism, and some tips about where to find your favorite smut online.
4. When She Gave Great Open Marriage Advice
In one of Stoya's sex advice columns for Refinery 29, the actress-cum-director responded to one woman asking how and if she should get involved with a man in an open marriage. Stoya undressed the very vague term "open marriage," which means something different to everyone, and told the advice-seeker to make sure she finds out all the facts before continuing her relationship. "Try to set aside everything you’ve internalized about what typical relationships look like and imagine the ideal scenario for your sexual and romantic life right now," she suggested, which is sex positive advice to follow in any situation.
5. When She Combined (C)literature And Lust
Stoya appeared in the first installment of Hysterical Literature, an art project that explores "feminism, mind/body dualism, distraction portraiture, and the contrast between culture and sexuality." Far more than a pretty face or a porn princess, Stoya is a sex-positive creatrix who pretty much defies all the labels the world tries to pin on her.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to make him last longer:
Images: Getty; ClaytonCubitt/YouTube
