Entertainment

Another Day, Another Justin Bieber Fight

by Alicia Lutes

World's Coolest Retiree-to-Be (or is he?), Justin Bieber, has found himself in another skirmish! Because of course he did. This time it's Justin Bieber's limo driver that was attacked. Details are "sketchy" — this is TMZ reporting, after all —but the gist of it is this: the King Belieber and his trusty steeds were driving around Toronto on Sunday in a fancy-shmancymobile typically reserved for Real Housewives diatribes and fancy trips to the airport, alternatively known as a limousine. This daschund of cars had a driver in it. And at some point either before or after Joffrey Incarnate was dropped off at the Toronto Blue Jays game he was attending (only the best for the world's most famous Canadian), said driver was accosted — otherwise known as "attacked" or maybe "beat down" or "got served" — while the tween dream was in the car. Say it with me now, folks: ¡escandalo!

Now before we all go jumping to conclusions about whether or not the Beebz was involved, just remember this: he recently adopted a new puppy named Karma so we know there's no possible way he could have anything to do with this. People who buy puppies just don't hit people, it's like science. And you should always Belieb in science, you guys.