The Ball Might Not Be the Only Thing Dropping

When 11:59:59 PM rolls around tonight, 2013 will be a thing of the past and we'll be dropped right into the lap of a waiting 2014. But when that crystal ball of lights and magic barrels down the pole in Times Square this evening, it might not be the only thing dropping — at least not on the late night specials that are covering the event — because the reigns are largely in the hands of celebrities. And if we know one thing about celebrities, it's that they're always promoting something, or taking part in a ridiculous spectacle.

We don't all have the good fortune of ringing in the New Year at Applebee's, nor are all of us self-hating enough to tune into Fox News' chat with two members of the Duck Dynasty clan, but we're still curious as to what will happen tonight. Aren't you? After all, there are plenty of New Year's Eve specials airing tonight, and also (hopefully) a party or two to attend — time will be limited for checking in on the dingaling doings of Hollywood's Finest, so it seems only fair to speculate, then, on the potential doings and all-but-assured calamities that are set to take place in the coming hours. So, without further ado, here are:

Some Hypothetical Things That Might Maybe Drop Tonight Other Than The Ball:

Kathy Griffin's pride

Ryan Seacrest's self-awareness

Anderson Cooper's composure

Carson Daly's dignity

Mario Lopez's shame

Some Actual Things That Will Probably Drop Tonight:

Carson Daly's dad-est dance moves

Anderson Cooper's uncontrollable giggles

Mariah Carey's "gift" for heir-apparent Ariana Grande

Kathy Griffin's mouth

Blake Shelton's pointer finger

And that's all she wrote, folks.

NAILED IT!

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