There Have Been Lots of Mea Culpas Already in 2014

Jay Mohr has SPOKEN. "About what?" you ask. "Get READY," I reply. When Alyssa Milano called out Mohr for criticizing her post-baby figure, the Internet rallied against him. What was said, exactly? Well, after both of them appeared at the same awards show, Mohr made the following comments on a podcast: “[Milano] was one of the presenters… she’s very tiny, in height … It seems like she had a baby and said, ‘I don’t really give a shit’… I read it on her gut" and "Somebody sat in the director’s chair and was not wearing Spanx and I was like, ‘Jesus Christ.’” UH? TERRIBLE. Rally away, Internet.

Milano's response was a master class in handling trolly comments. A tasteful, collected slam dunk: ".@jaymohr37 So sorry you felt the need to publicly fat-shame me. Be well and God Bless. Please send my love to your beautiful wife." Phoebe Halliwell, you rule.

After Milano tweeted her takedown on Dec. 25, Mohr was raked over the Internet coals. So what was his next move? An apology. Yesterday, Mohr tweeted: "@perezhilton @alyssa_milano She's stunning. I mistakenly thought the absurdity of what I was saying would have ben taken as a joke. #fail"

I thought that justification was kind of weak sauce. "Joking" about a new mom's body (or anyone's body, really) is never cool, no matter how "absurd." Well, today, Mohr tweeted a link to a blog-pology. A blog apology. I can't wait to read this mess, I thought. I couldn't click the link fast enough.

Maybe I'm easily swayed, but you know what? As far as apologies go, it's a pretty nice one. It's not a mess. Here it is:

Comedians have a hole on their insides that can only be filled by generating constant content that is, many times, improvised in the moment. Unfortunately, in rare instances, it causes irreparable harm. I had thought (incorrectly) in an improvisational moment, that the incongruousness of my statements, when held up to the light of how beautiful Alyssa Milano is, would have been funny given that she is the size of a thimble. It wasn't funny. Knowing that Alyssa, as well as her family, friends, fans, and especially her husband, heard things that were hurtful from my mouth crushed me. She has always been one of the kindest, most caring and beautiful people this town has ever seen. I will not make excuses for what I said. Although I immediately removed that segment from my podcast, it still doesn’t change the results. I know full well how much words can hurt people, having seen my wife get destroyed by the tabloids, and I am embarrassed that I didn't think before I spoke. Alyssa is an extraordinarily beautiful person—both inside and out. Alyssa is a mother, a wife, an actress, and a class act that should always be celebrated. Sometimes comedians go too far. I went too far. I cannot change what I said, but I can assure you that my heart is broken that I hurt her. I am very sorry. With the utmost sincerity, Jay Mohr

A skeptical person may think, He only wrote that "heartfelt" stuff because he had his ass handed to him. He doesn't really mean it. That's a skeptical person's prerogative. But when I read the full apology, it doesn't feel like a PR move. It seems humble and real. He never stoops to calling us dumb or too sensitive to appreciate the "joke," and I don't catch any traces of defensiveness. He owns up to his lapse in judgment and the crappy comment.

Yes, the remarks he made about Milano remain hot garbage, but Mohr? Mohr doesn't seem like the worst monster after all. He's a comic who made an unfunny and tasteless "joke" and he's accepted the consequences.

So... did Milano forgive him?

Nailed it, Milano. Nailed it. Like I said, Phoebe Halliwell rules.

It's only Jan. 3, and there have already been a handful of celeb apologies: Shia LaBeouf skywrote a mea culpa for the Daniel Clowes thing and Ani DiFranco apologized for a crappy apology. What was her initial apology for? Oh you know, the brilliant (read: awful) choice to hold a writing retreat at a former slave plantation. And now there's the statement from Mohr.

So many amends being made. Way to start the year off on an "I'm sorrrrryyyy, don't be maaaaad" note, famous people. Nice.