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Why We Should Give Sex Robots A Chance

The second annual Love and Sex with Robots conference in Malaysia has been cancelled for fear that, well, people would have sex with robots, according to News AU. After the success of the first conference last year in Portugal, the second was due to take place on November 16 but has been cancelled after Malaysian police decided it's illegal. According to the International Business Times, it "was intended to be a focus for academics from around the world to discuss the legal, ethical, and moral questions on everything from 'teledildonic' to 'humanoids'. Also on the agenda were robot emotions, entertainment robots, and intelligent electronic sex hardware".

In case you missed it, that description included the word 'teledildonic', which I strongly believe should make every 'Word of the Day' calendar and email for the next year. This comes after sex with robots has been all over the news the past few months. It all started with claims of how normal it would be, with Dr. Helen Driscoll saying sex with robots would be commonplace by 2070 and Stowe Boyd saying robot sex would be the new selfie. Then there were the calls to ban it completely, because it sort of weirds people out. I mean, it weirds me out a bit too, even though I'm someone who regularly uses battery-operated helpers, which I guess are little rudimentary robots. They look like cute fluffy animals which is so much less of weird thing to masturbate with then something that looks like a human... right? But who am I to judge?

So, here are some benefits of sex with robots, because even though the conference was cancelled, it's still heading your way:

1. They Will Be Good In Bed

I mean, it's a robot. I can only assume you'll be able to program it to do anything you want and it will never get a foot cramp. It won't mind if you re-program it because what it's doing isn't working for you. Boom.

2. Sleeping Will Be Easier

Driscoll says that it won't just be sex, but that there will be a lot of affection and maybe love with robots eventually. And they'll make great cuddlers because they can't get uncomfortable or get dead arm or morning breath. I'm really warming up to this idea.

3. No More Bulk-Buying Triple A Batteries At The Grocery Store

You know what I'm talking about. Tell me you know what I'm talking about. If a robot replaces my rabbit, hopefully that means goodbye to making award eye contact with the cashier as you buy 40 AAA batteries, because winter is coming. You'll probably be able to plug a robot in, right?

4. You'll Probably Be Able To Bingewatch IN Your Partner

If it's a robot that can have sex with you then it certainly has the technology to have a built in screen on their chest, right? I'm just saying if I could catch up on my shows while having sex and not hurting anyone's feelings or strain my neck— I'm going to be a happy caper.

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Images: weerapat1003/Fotolia; (4) Giphy