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How To Survive 'Thanksgiving' Like Veronica Mars

by Mary Grace Garis

I know it often feels like Halloween side-steps out of the way for Christmas, but in case you forgot, Thanksgiving falls in the middle of that. Subsequently, there’s at least one other holiday that’s going to have you subject yourself to loony family members, and you may not be verbally prepared for the onslaught of ridiculousness. Well, I personally go to Veronica Mars one-liners when I’m at a lost for words, and this time of the year is no different.

Wait, how did we go from Thanksgiving to Veronica Mars? True Life: everyone in Veronica Mars has a worse family situation than you. The Kanes hid their son’s epileptic fits out of fear that he murdered his sister. That sister was hooking up with her boyfriend’s dad, a bonafide psychopath who actually killed her. And even Veronica, though her relationship with her father is #goals forever, had a pretty messed up mom, to say the least. Teen dramas, man. They make our Thanksgiving stresses seem so nominal.

But I don’t mean to bum you out, I just intend to prepare you for your own Turkey Day. Here are some perfectly curated Veronica Mars GIFs that’ll help you react appropriately to all the annoyances the holiday brings.

1. When Your Sister Claims To Have A Sprained Wrist And Can't Peel The Potatoes This Year

Like, it's fine, but you're dead to me.

2. When Your Least Responsible Friend Arrives Ready To Start Doing Tequila Shots

Listen, the bar scene last night was fun and I realize that drinking is the only way I'll get through this holiday, but we do that by downing Chardonnay from 11 a.m. onward. Like adults.

3. When Your Awful Brother's Girlfriend Trixie Says She Thought You'd Be Spending Thanksgiving With Your Boyfriend

I mean, that was a potential plan but we broke up... eight months ago... and you knew that...

4. When You're Being Asked If You're Still Paying Off Your Student Loans From Design School

Although at least they've stopped asking what year you're in considering you graduated back in 2012.

5. When Your Cousin With A Fancy Job Talks About How She's Vacationing In Cabo With Her Boyfriend After Christmas

...

6. When Your Nieces Keep Hitting You With An Elsa Doll And Sing-Screaming "Let It Go"

I'm 26, why am I still stuck at the kid's table?

7. When Grandma Says You Look So Beautiful And You've "Really Filled Out" Since Your Awkward Phase

Aww, thanks for that uncomfortable backhanded compliment, Nana.

8. When, You Know What? You'll Take A Shot After All

This is getting way out of hand, so whatever, #yolo (are the kids still saying that, I don't know). We're gonna with whiskey, though, because that just feels so much more autumnal compared to tequila, you know?

9. When Everything Just Get To Real And Your Mom Starts Crying Because She Burned The Turkey

I don't even have a snarky remark for that, I'm just sorry this holiday is so hard on all of us. Chardonnay?

10. When You're Able To Save The Holiday By Taking Care Of All The Dishes

It takes no less than three hours, but at least mom gets to be off her feet for a little bit. And the daughter of the year award goes to...

11. When You Hit Up Target The Next Morning For Black Friday And The Girl Who Terrorized You In High School Is Ringing You Up

Worth it.

All in all, if you stick with Veronica's sense of wit you should have... certainly an amusing holiday, if nothing else.

Images: Warner Bros. Television; Giphy (11)