News

The 5 Funniest Clinton Emails From This Round

by Seth Millstein

There’s a new Hillary Clinton email dump making the rounds, and as usual, none of them are particularly scandalous. At no point does Clinton reveal that she secretly planned the Benghazi attacks or carried out a secret love affair with Huma Abedin. Conservatives hoping that the emails destroy Clinton’s presidential ambitions will, alas, have to keep on fishing for conspiracies. Some of the messages, though, are quite amusing. And the funniest of Clinton’s emails actually accomplish the opposite of what many on the right had hoped: They humanize her.

Clinton has long been criticized for being robotic and unemotional — an allegation that’s hurled pretty frequently at women politicians, and which stems from, uhh, rank sexism. Whether voters actually buy this line of attack is an open question. Clinton is no more or less robotic than any other politician. But it’s common on the right nonetheless. This new batch of emails, though, reveals a humorous and down-to-Earth side to Clinton that’s hard to square with the allegation that she isn’t a “regular person.” It’s ironic that the emails, which many Republicans hoped would hurt the former secretary of state, might in fact help her campaign. Let’s take a look at some of the best.

She Has Nicknames For Mitt Romney And Newt Gingrich

During the 2012 Republican primary, Clinton referred in one email to the possibility that “Mittens can’t beat Grinch in Florida” — a reference to two of the GOP candidates, Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich. “Mittens and Grinch” sounds like a kids' film about the misadventures of two dogs ... which isn’t a bad encapsulation of the 2012 Republican primary.

She’s Rusty On Chatroom Lingo

After an exchange that she apparently found amusing, Clinton let loose a “ROLF!” She probably meant “ROFL,” the common Internet slang for “rolling on the floor laughing.” Personally, I’d be happy if “ROLF!” with an obligatory exclamation point became the standard acronym for finding something funny.

She Likes Homeland, And Wants Her Staff To Know It

At one point, Clinton asked a staffer what channel Showtime was on in Washington D.C. because she wanted to watch Homeland. It’s amusing that she clarified the reason for her inquiry in a separate email five minutes later, as if to drive home the importance of her request.

She Likes To Celebrate By Imbibing Substances

When the Affordable Care Act was on the verge of passage in the Senate, Clinton suggested that she and Democratic Senator Barbara Mikulski “go drink something unhealthy” to celebrate the occasion. At least she’s being honest about alcohol’s effect on the human body.

She Appreciates A Good Headline

What happened here is that after Clinton visited Columbia, a local paper reported it as “the night Hillary Clinton rumba’d in Cartagena.” Clinton, recognizing that the comedy value of the headline required no explanation, replied with a dry “Pls print.”