Entertainment

Having 'Friends' Holiday Problems? We Can Help

by Mary Grace Garis

There's something about the holidays that makes us all want to gather with our nearest and dearest Friends... Christmas episodes. Though not half as exciting as the Thanksgiving extravaganzas, each Friends Christmas episode was always chock full of the festive zaniness and, of course, conflicts upon conflicts. I mean, 'tis the season for holiday drama. But I think it's a great thing, because, while you're trying to calm your own holiday drama with the gentle roar of an open Netflix account, you can learn how to fix oh-so-common Christmas problems.

All right, I'll admit that I'm not sure how "common" it is to dress up like a Holiday Armadillo, though it definitely should be a yearly tradition. I'm just saying that the friends of Friends know that Christmas is a time of true struggle, and that you could probably learn a lot from their assorted adventures. So I revisited some classic Friends Christmas episodes to find, you know, totally relatable issues that you may be going through this time of the year. However, I decided to not take cues from Ross, Rachel, and co and found alternative solutions when necessary. I'm just that giving.

Here are 11 ways to fix all your possible Friends holiday problems.

1. You Can't Get On The Platform For Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve

And how will mom and dad see you if you don't get up on the platform? Ross and Monica decide to break out their eighth grade "routine" to impress the selection guy, but their earnest attempt gets them a primo spot on the blooper reel instead. Lesson? Go YouTube a bunch of moves before you sign up to be one of the New Year's Eve party people.

2. Your Co-Worker In Tulsa Is Trying To Seduce You

This is what happens with Chandler is left alone with Miss Oklahoma runner-up Selma Blair during the holidays, and, though he gets out of it before anything happens, this could've easily been avoided. Pro-Tip: Don't take a job that would make you commute to Tulsa back and forth, and do whatever it takes to make it home in time for Christmas. If Jonathan Taylor Thomas can do it, so can you.

3. A Bad Review Makes Your Co-Workers Pressure You To Quit Your Chef Job... And Right Before The Holidays

Monica decided to hire Joey and later fire him to look scary as hell. That's basically what happens, and it's a totally convoluted power move that goes horribly, horribly wrong because Joey is involved. Just ignore the hater and keep on serving up some mean frittatas.

4. You're Single Again For Christmas And Your Nitwit Friend Is Matchmaking All Wrong

Rachel tries to nab a fling for the season, and Chandler tells his work friends that that's what she's looking for... verbatim. This does not end well when the guy Rachel goes for seems like boyfriend material. Whoops! Communication is key, guys, and it's best to know what you really want before you get Chandler to set you up with someone.

5. You Can't Find The Right Inspiration For Your Acoustic Christmas Carol

Um. Your friends are going to be fine if you can't work their name into "Jingle Bells" or something.

6. You Meet A Cutie On Public Transportation But They Live Hella Far Away

Ah, the girl from Poughkeepsie. My friend, you're just going to have to accept that long distance is too much of an effort for someone who gets divorced on the regular. Also, don't fall asleep on trains.

7. The Heat Is Broken, Making The Apartment Not-Too-Christmas-y

Actually, a Christmas summer party is a good solution to this.

8. You Want To Go To Your Estranged Father's House For Christmas But You're Scared

I mean, Phoebe waited on this, and it didn't work out in the long run. To get super serious for a minute, I don't think there's any right or wrong way to go about this... but maybe you shouldn't let your friends hang in the car for several hours while you soul-search.

9. You Bought Boots That Basically Cost Your Rent But They're Killing Your Feet

Considering what New York rent costs these days, if you have this problem, you're learning an important lesson about money management. Merry Christmas!

10. Your Firstborn Isn't Interested In The Story Of Hanukkah

You know I have fond feelings for the Holiday Armadillo. In a pinch, though, bribery works well.

11. There Aren't Any Santa Costumes Left In The Shop

I'm sorry, there's no way there's one place that sells Santa costume in all of Manhattan. If nothing else, get a hat and beard and slum it! Children don't know any better! If only the Friends could have taken my sound advice before they ended up in all these shenanigans.

Images: Warner Bros.Television; Giphy (11)