Entertainment

2015 Current Events, As Told By ‘Gilmore Girls’

by Caroline Gerdes

As 2015 comes to a close, we are all taking a look back on the year and considering its biggest events, both personally and in the news. It has been a busy year with social movements and a presidential campaign, as well as major developments in TV and movies. It has also been a pretty big year for Gilmore Girls fans. Since they remained a major part of pop culture this year, what would Lorelai and Rory think of 2015’s most important events?

From the successful cast reunion in Austin at the ATX Festival, to the reports of an upcoming Netflix revival, 2015 has been a banner year for Gilmore fans. While we can’t catch up with Lorelai and Rory in the present day just yet, we can figure out what the Girls would think of the major events from 2015 just by knowing these characters so well. How would they react to gay marriage being legalized and Hillary 2016? Based on the show's seven seasons, I think we have a pretty good idea about what the fast-talking ladies would think of the past year.

So, What Would Lorelai Gilmore Do? Here’s what 2015 looked like, according to the Gilmore Girls.

1. Gay Marriage Legalized

We know the Gilmore Girls are left-leaning — Rory admires Hilary Clinton and Madeleine Albright and throughout the series Lorelai chastises Bush — but Gilmore Girls often seemed to skirt around gay characters. Many fans speculated that Lorelai's coworker Michel was gay, and when the Huffington Post asked creator Amy Sherman-Palladino about this at the ATX Festival, she said the series left his sexual orientation ambiguous on purpose. “We had characters in the town that we thought of as gay … And we just thought of them as characters."

With all that in mind, how would the girls have reacted to the legalization of gay marriage? They would be ecstatic. Waffle and Lorelai would probably hit up that fabulous drag club again and party with Mae West and Liza Minnelli, because she and Rory would be thrilled to see that #LoveWins.

2. Pictures From Pluto

Lorelai and Rory showed a major soft spot for Pluto when it was downgraded from My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas status. So, I think these ladies would be jazzed to see the dwarf planet like never before — and I think there would be some fast-paced chatter about the planet’s little heart.

LORELAI: Solar systems, 50 percent off! RORY: Oh that's not just a post-Christmas sale. That's a post-Pluto sale. LORELAI: Poor Pluto.

3. #LlamasOnTheLoose

Much like the phone call where Lorelai and Rory became entranced with the rumbas buzzing around their floors, I believe a similar call would have been made to inform the other of the absurdity of the llama situation — then they would become engrossed and watch the whole saga unfold.

4. The Pope Visits The United States

I think Lorelai would try to touch the Pope again, like she did when they were in Europe. And, if she didn’t make it all the way to the Pope this time, you know she would still leave with an epic story about sweet-talking someone into letting her take a Pope-adjacent selfie.

5. Planned Parenthood Hearings

While Lorelai chose to give birth to Rory as a teen, Gilmore Girls never used pro-life rhetoric. Lorelai often made it clear that in her circumstance things worked out, but didn't apply her own experience to others. And, if Rory’s college pro-choice posters taught us anything, it’s that the Gilmore girls would stand with Planned Parenthood.

6. #DressGate

You know Lorelai would see white and gold, while Rory would see blue and black, and Lorelai wouldn’t let it lie until Rory said she could see it her way. The capper of course would be that Rory would show her a picture of the dress for sale online, proving that it is black and blue, thus ensuing more fast-talking. It’s culs de sac all over again, people.

7. Jon Snow

Lorelai and Luke definitely watch Game of Thrones together, and you know Luke is sick of hearing about how Jon Snow is alive. This makes the summer they bickered about Bewitched and Star Wars Episode III look like nothing. And speaking of Star Wars

8. Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Lorelai, Rory, and Luke — a known Trekkie and hinted at sci-fi geek — see it together. Luke doesn’t know who this J.J. Abrams guy thinks he is, taking on both Star Wars and Star Trek.

9. USA Women’s World Cup Win

While Lorelai and Rory may only "enjoy various aspects of certain sporting endeavors," you know they love a good excuse for topical television viewing with a thematic menu. Sookie definitely made something that looked like a soccer ball for the occasion. And, Luke’s sponsored girls soccer team got him into following the sport. USA! USA! USA!

10. Donald Trump

After endlessly mocking his hair and Lorelai perfecting her “you’re fired” impression, Rory would sum him up like this: butt-faced miscreant.

11. Hillary Clinton

To quote Rory Gilmore about Hilary Clinton (her once planned Harvard essay topic): "She's so smart and tough and nobody thought she could win New York but she did and she's doing amazing, and have you heard her speak?" Maybe Rory’s job covering the Obama campaign could spin into working for Hillary’s camp?

Hopefully, the Netflix revival will come to fruition and we'll get to hear all of the Gilmore Girls' thoughts on current events, in their own (many) words, very soon.

Images: Warner Bros. Television (2); Giphy (3); HBO; LukesDiner/Tumblr