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Who Will Take Home The Gold?

by Lia Beck

It was only a matter of time before the Sochi Winter Olympics plus anti-gay Russian sentiments in reference to the Sochi Winter Olympics came together and resulted in comedic gold. (Well, comedic gold that is horribly depressing and absolutely insane.) Last night The Daily Show achieved just that when Jon Stewart announced a segment called the 2014 Sochi Homophobic Olympics. Stewart started off talking about three qualifying nations: India where homosexuality has been criminalized and can result in 10 years in prison, Nigeria where gays can be jailed for gathering, and Uganda where being gay is a crime that could be punishable by life imprisonment.

As if that wasn't enough, Stewart then takes a look at host country, Russia, who he notes have "subtler" tactics. He pointed to Vladimir Putin's speech where he said Russia will welcome gays but to "please, leave the children at peace." Hilariously, a clip is then shown of Putin going up to a small boy, lifting his shirt, and kissing him on his chest. Stewart asks, "Is that the creepy behavior your talking about?"

Things then turned to the good old US of A when Daily Show correspondent Aasif Mandvi pointed out that we do still have a chance at medalling at the Homophobic Olympics and if you're up on your pop culture, you probably know why — Juan Pablo Galavis aka The Bachelor. In light of Galavis' recent comments (calling gay people "more pervert," then apologizing and saying he really meant "too racy"), America could really have a chance at medalling. Not in the "glaring gaff" competition, but in the "100 meter back track." Stewart's take?

The f**king guy is on The Bachelor. Is he saying two people of the same gender falling in love is too racy? Americans prefer seeing a dude serially banging 20 different girls he just met in a hot tub to winnow them down to the one he will ultimately break up with via tabloid magazine?

Thanks, Juan Pablo! You've done us not proud. Not proud at all.

Mandvi goes on to mention two other American competitors. There's the Utah man who went on a hunger strike to protest the state allowing same sex marriages and the governor of Pennsylvania who responded in the most abysmal way possible when asked about a comment a member of his legal team made. The person compared gay marriage to two 12-year-olds getting married since they're both illegal. The governor responded, "I think a much better analogy would’ve been brother and sister, don’t you?"

Yikes. It's not life imprisonment, but it sure gives Juan Pablo a run for his money.