Entertainment

Cersei Lannister Plus 'The Bachelor' = Everything

by Courtney Lindley

Lena Headey — aka Queen Cersei Lannister — graced the set of Jimmy Kimmel Live on Monday night to provide us with a much needed mash up of two equally beloved and cut-throat worlds: Game of Thrones and... The Bachelor. Kimmel, knowing quite well that Cersei Lannister — once Queen of the Seven Kingdoms — also happens to be the queen of insults, handed her a goblet of wine and some catty words taken directly from this season of The Bachelor to recite. The only thing missing was the token blonde wig, and well, the Bachelor himself.

Even though Headey claims to have never seen The Bachelor (blasphemy!) she slid perfectly into her new role as Cersei Lannister, the newest villain on this season of the most dramatic Bachelor ever. “I’m gonna punch her in the face, like seriously,” she said with such coldness, I shivered in my seat, and “I think her boobs are fake, but it’s OK, like you can tell they’re fake." Brrr. The insults rolled off Cersei's tongue with the kind of grace and elegance you would have expected. It was all too effortless. In fact, I think we can all now say that Cersei Lannister was born for this. Watch the magnificence below.

If this has you thinking: wait...what if Cersei was actually a contestant on The Bachelor? You are not alone. There's no doubt in my mind that Cersei would make the greatest Bachelor villain of all time. Here's what she would probably do if that happened.

She Would Be There To Make Enemies

No really. She would probably just go on for the fun of gathering more enemies. So, like, taking the "not here to make friends" mantra to the extreme. Joyful!

She Would Outdrink Everyone, But Remain Oddly In Control

Yes, Cersei would be downing that red wine like there was no tomorrow, but she would never actually appear drunk. Which would make everyone else drink to keep up with her, and then, well, you get the idea. (Hint: everyone would be really, really drunk.)

She Would Insult Contestants To Their Faces

In the world of The Bachelor it's OK to be rude and abrasive, as long as you do it behind someone's back. But not if Cersei was there. No, no. She would make a point to tell you to your face that you have weird toes.

She Would Get Inside Of Everyone's Heads

She'd casually walk by the bathroom while the ladies are getting ready and whisper things like "everyone who isn't us is an enemy" and "look at me! Look at my face! It's the last thing you'll see before you die."

She Would Shame The Bachelor

Despite her confident outward appearance, Cersei would buckle under the pressure and become too jealous to function. Thus, she would shame the Bachelor every time he so much as looked at another contestant.

She Would Seek Revenge

On no-one in particular. Just revenge for revenge's sake.

The official campaign for this to happen starts now.

Images: ABC; Giphy (6)