Books

The 16 Sassiest Lines in Harry Potter

by Charlotte Ahlin

Harry Potter. He's the boy wizard we all know and love. He's the courageous hero who saved the world from the forces of evil. And he's the sassiest kid who ever lived.

Seriously. I mean, yes, we all remember all those wise Dumbledore sayings, and all the times that Hermione was our feminist hero, and the thousand other Harry Potter quotes worth remembering. But have we forgotten that Harry could be one hell of a sassy little snot? He wasn't always all about world-saving and being a tragic orphan. Sometimes he was all about being a smug little jerk. Look, I'm not saying that I condone Snape being horrible to children, but Harry's just straight up rude a lot of the time. I wouldn't want to be his teacher.

But we also love Harry for his unreasonable levels of sass. I mean, if you were the chosen one in some crazy wizard war, you'd probably have a chip on your shoulder too. And it's not just Harry bringing the sass. The Weasley kids have got their moments of unbridled cheekiness, and Hermione has a few great sarcastic put downs in her. And we know that the marauders were couldn't get enough of their own quippy insults.

So, just in case you need a reminder, here are some of the hands down sassiest moments in Harry Potter:

1. "Listening to the news! Again?" "Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

2. “Just because it’s taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!”

― Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

3. “Great, tell me when you've defeated Voldemort for me, will you?”

― Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

4. “No, thanks," said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it— it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

5. “Congratulations, Harry!” she said, beaming at him. “I wonder if you could give me a quick word?” “Yeah, you can have a word,” said Harry savagely. “Good-bye.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

6. “Manners, Potter, or I’ll have to give you a detention,” drawled Malfoy, whose sleek blond hair and pointed chin were just like his father’s.“You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.” “Yeah,” said Harry, “but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

7. Narcissa Malfoy smiled unpleasantly. “I see that being Dumbledore’s favorite has given you a false sense of security, Harry Potter. But Dumbledore won’t always be there to protect you.” Harry looked mockingly all around the shop. “Wow…look at that…he’s not here now! So why not have a go? They might be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban for your loser of a husband!”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

8. “Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry stiffly. “Yes, sir.” “There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

9.“This is your copy of Advanced Potion-Making, is it, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry firmly. “Then why,” asked Snape, “does it have the name ‘Roonil Wazlib’ written inside the front cover?” Harry’s heart missed a beat. “That’s my nickname,” he said.

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

10. “I think so," said Professor McGonagall dryly, "we teachers are rather good at magic, you know.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

11. “Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students. "Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

12. "Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have!"

― Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

13. "He can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo."

― Fred Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

14. “Well, you can't break an Unbreakable Vow...." "I'd worked that much out for myself, funnily enough. What happens if you break it, then?"

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

15. “Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!"

― Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

16. “Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..." "Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" said Harry sarcastically.

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Images: Warner Bros, Giphy (17)