Entertainment

Finally, BSB, *NSYNC And... Zombies?!

by Mary Grace Garis

Finally, '90s nostalgia has peaked and your favorite TRL mainstays are back from the dead. The trailer for Syfy's boy band zombie movie Dead 7 has hit the Internet, and with members of the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, O-Town, and 98 Degrees ganging up to kill some zombies, it looks like the horror movie slash spaghetti western slash turn-of-millennial pop music video you never knew you needed. Which, actually, let's pump the breaks... that sounds like the most ridiculous(ly awesome) movie premise since Sharknado (and Sharknado 2, and Sharknado 3... I could go on). But what is the plot to Dead 7 , anyway?

Dead 7 is the brainchild of Backstreet Boy Nick Carter (aka the cute blonde one with the floppy haircut) and, sure enough, it looks like he's surrounded by other pop star peers from the turn of the millennium. At first, I was perfectly confused because the trailer suggests that the only thing to kill the horde of evil zombies is to "resurrect '90s boy bands." So, to be clear, the implication is that everyone is playing themselves... but why are they dressed up like it's Oklahoma in the 1880s?

Sure enough, Dead 7 is about a post apocalyptic version of the West ridden by zombies. That's amazing. That also... is the craziest thing I've heard in my life. So what else is happening here? This is as much as we can piece together so far.

Aside from Carter, we have a major power players from the Backstreet Boys: A.J. McLean and Howie Dorough. McLean, as the group's resident bad boy, looks absolutely terrifying. In an appropriate zombie-apocalypse move, he's smudged up with blood. In a bizarro, 13-year-old alt kid from 2003 move, he's painted himself with inverted cross eyeliner and plopped a bowler hat on top. Is he trying to scare the zombies? He's scaring me, if only because I don't know why he's dressing like the early 2000s goth kids that rebuked BSB.

Hardcore? Carter, throughout the trailer, looks like a reluctant, world-weary protagonist, so it's unclear if him and the Boys have been together throughout this ordeal. More likely, Carter stumbles upon McLean and his hat during his travels, and assembles a team from there.

Then you have Team *NSYNC, which is comprised of Joey Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick. Kirkpatrick, who probably peaked during his Chip Skylark days on The Fairly Oddparents, doesn't get a whole ton of screen time. Fatone, though, who has some serious acting chops (both My Big Fat Greek Wedding movies and Lance Bass' On The Line) is front and center. With a beard that puts Rick Grimes' on The Walking Dead to shame, Fatone looks like he has a prominent role among the boy band assembly... and also a love of whiskey. Do you think Carter, McLean and Dorough will initially come to blows when they encounter members of their biggest boy band rivals? Will there be a Backstreet betrayal or... vice versa? Stay tuned.

That aside you have appearances from 98 Degrees' Jeff Timmons (so one of the not-Nick Lachey ones) and literally all of O-Town except Ashley Parker Angel. How everyone will fit together is still unclear, but the firepower is strong. They will definitely be able to fight off zombies with some perfectly choreographed group dance moves.

What else can we expect from the film? My guesses are...

A Brothel

Well, a brothel (for zombies? for humans?), or maybe some strong independent women that like to fight zombies dressed in corsets (which is how I like to fight zombies, personally).

Ineffective Gates To Keep Out The Living Dead

Yeah, those tree branches look pretty foolproof.

A Barren Town In Which The Survivors Try To Live Among The Chaos

I see the swimming pool has survived the apocalypse, but not slip and slide? Tragic.

Zombie... Jail?

I actually don't know. Is it possible that McLean went crazy after the zombies started filing in and somehow he was jailed, deemed unsafe to walk among other humans? Or is this another Walking Dead thing where his apartment is basically just a prison?

Kung Fu Fighting

Or at least some serious slaying with a katana, because those are just casually lying around the Wild West.

And Of Course, People Are Still Clearly Committed To Garment Maintenance

Even when being splattered with gore is an everyday occurrence, you can't just walk around uncivilized with your button downs all wrinkled.

All that, and a theme song that rings of "Bye Bye Bye." But don't take my word for it, and don't deprive yourself any longer. Watch the video below to get a preview of the zombie apocalypse western that's sure to be larger than life.

Images: Syfy (10)