Being single in this day and age can be a bit of a minefield. Maybe you're perfectly happy being single. That being said, if you ever voice that thought out loud, odds are it's going to sound more like, "I'm ... *gazes off into the distance* ... perfectly happy being single" — even if you've said it as bluntly and unapologetically as possible. As progressive as we are, we still live in a world where people consider coupling, and the desire to couple, the norm. The general thought is that if you're single, you will either want to find another human to pester/love/make grilled cheese for, or you will want to find that human at some point in the foreseeable future. The general thought is that if you're single, you either consciously or unconsciously would rather not be.
It's because of this that coupled people tend to be more sensitive to their single friends about particular topics, especially when it comes to perpetuating tropes about single people. They do this because they are kind and baller people, so in writing this list of things that don't actually bother single people, I don't by any means intend to ~call out~ the behavior. None of these things are inherently "right" or "wrong" to do to single people. I just notice that a lot of them seem like taboos or, in some cases, cliché things that bug single folk, when that's not really the case at all. Here are a few of them:
You Offering To Fix Us Up With A Friend
Objectively, if your friend thinks highly enough of you and highly enough of another person to think that you deserve each other, then that's the kindest sort of friendship there is. If you're not interested in being set up, all you have to do is say so. But single people aren't secretly super insulted by this, I promise.
A Relative Asking How Our Love Lives Are
The whole "Ahhh, the holidays are such a nightmare, Aunt Sue is going to ask why I'm still single!" cliché is getting way overblown. Aunt Sue is asking because she cares about you, not because she is secretly out to make you cry into your potatoes. And honestly, it can be refreshing to talk about your love life or (lack there of) with someone who is on the outside of it. You have a chance to either vent about your frustration or laud the awesomeness of being single to a pair of fresh ears that, by virtue of being blood-related to you, are usually much more supportive than this trope makes them out to be.
Seeing Our Exes Happy With Other People
The reality is that single people see this in one of two ultimately positive ways. Either you initiated the breakup, and seeing that person happy with someone else is actually a relief — or you were broken up with, and seeing your ex move on with someone else, while at first hard, is eventually the closure you need to move on from it yourself.
Hanging Out With Our Coupled Friends
It's really just like hanging out with our normal friends, except they end up drunk dialing their S.O. instead of their sister. And if you're lucky enough that your coupled friends are dating awesome people, then you have MORE FRIENDS. Twice the number of friedns, according to some very difficult math. Everybody wins!
Hearing About How Great Your Relationship Is
Single people aren't secretly bitter every time they hear about your #RelationshipBliss. If you're in a healthy, normal human friendship, then they'll be able to separate any of their own personal feelings about being single with their happiness for you. And coupled friends shouldn't feel like they have to censor the good parts of their lives — that's the opposite of what friends are for.
Being Asked For The Opinion Of A "Single Person"
We really don't mind being the token single gal. Bounce your weird love theories off of us. We are more than happy to participate in the weirdness that is analyzing modern dating.
Being On Our Own A Lot Of The Time
Yes, statistically speaking, single people are probably spending more time alone than their coupled peers. But most of us are perfectly fine with that. There are so many things to enjoy about spending time alone that we tend to take for granted until we have the chance. And besides, not being in a relationship doesn't mean we're automatically in a situation where we have to be alone — we have our friends and family to fill that hole, if need be. And if need not be? ... Well, you can find me marathoning old Friends episodes with a glass of wine in my pajamas, the human personification of #NoRegrets.
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