Who Will Be The Next Bachelorette?

It seems like even ABC realized that Juan Pablo Galavis hasn't turned out to be the man that everyone expected — it should be noted that expectation was based on the very little screen time he got on The Bachelorette and the fact that he has an accent. Did anyone else notice the silly, we're-mocking-you music played over some of his scenes on last night's Bachelor? Juan Pablo has really become a joke at this point. A joke that keeps doing offensive thing after offensive thing and tries to make it all better with "besos." It seems clear that while Juan Pablo will still end up picking a winner (Is there another word to use here besides "winner?" Oh right, fiancé.), this guy isn't going to end up marrying anyone left on the show. There is just no way. Obviously all of these women like making out with him, but they have to know that there is no connection beyond that. And if there is, he will not hesitate to cut it off by, say, insulting you by suggesting you seduced him into being a horrible role model for his daughter.

So now the conversation turns to which of the remaining women will become the next Bachelorette. Six ladies remain and they range from totally normal to Clare. Here's why each woman should or shouldn't become the next Bachelorette.

Chelsie

Chelsie seems really fun and genuinely nice. She had a conversation with Juan Pablo on last night's episode about how she wants a long term relationship and to have a family and it really didn't sound convincing. She just seems too young for all of this and not because of her age (She's 24. Cassandra was only 21, by the way, and seemed very mature.), just because she seems like a good time and she should be out partying rather than choosing a man to have propose to her. Yes, that's how they do it and it's weird. Chelsie strikes me as one who would want to do the proposing herself. She's not the next Bachelorette.

Andi

Andi would make an excellent bachelorette. She isn't overbearing, she doesn't cause drama, and last night she told Juan Pablo that she was excited to start a family. Unless she makes it to the end, this one is setting herself up for a major heartbreak and we'll all feel bad for her because she was so nice the entire time. The only issue with Andi becoming the bachelorette is that she's an assistant district attorney. It's possible that she has already lost her job, but if she wants to get back to the real world, being on a reality TV show for another season is probably not a good idea.

Sharleen

It's not going to be Sharleen. We all know it's not going to be Sharleen. While we all enjoy watching the saneness is that is Sharleen on our televisions every week, it is that same saneness that means she would NEVER go through this again. She's been talking about leaving the entire time and last night said that's she's giving it one more week and if she doesn't magically fall for Juan Pablo in Miami, she's outta there.

Nikki

Nikki is a drama causer. I don't know if she does it on purpose, but that doesn't matter. She's already gotten in an argument with Clare and, judging by next week's preview, it looks like that is going to keep happening. Unless there is some big revelation that explains why the dramz follows her around, she isn't someone the tipsy ladies of our great nation want to root for every Monday.

Reneé

Everyone has found comfort in Reneé since the very beginning. She is constantly sitting with the other women and listening to their problems. Like Andi, she seems super into Juan Pablo so unless she wins she's being set up for disappointment. She truly seems like she's "there for the right reasons" to use that ridiculous, but necessary phrase. This factor is important for a future bachelorette. Are people really going to watch an entire season based on someone there for the wrong reasons? Oh, we're doing that right now? Whatever. I'm just saying, Reneé is clearly looking for love, people trust her immediately, and she has a kid. Triple threat. Renee is my call for next bachelorette.

Clare

Clare is a wildcard and I don't even know what to think of her anymore. She stepped out of the limo with a fake pregnancy belly, so of course she would get kicked off immediately. But then she didn't. And then she seemed super annoying. And then Juan Pablo was a jerk to her and she became sympathetic and started being reasonable. And then last night, she and Juan Pablo bonded over their "first fight." I predicted that Clare would be the one everyone loved to hate, but now that's not the case. So sure, maybe she could even be the next bachelorette. Let the woman who thought it was appropriate to fake a pregnancy while meeting a potential husband choose her own man. Why not?

Images: ABC