Entertainment

NOT A DRILL: There Are 'Gilmore Girls' Candles

by S. Atkinson

In what is easily the most excellent news you will hear all week, an adorable Etsy store is priming for Netflix's four-episode-long Gilmore Girls revival in an unusual fashion: by releasing Gilmore Girls ' scented candles. The amusingly named PickMeCups store is based in Florida, but offers smells straight out of Stars Hollow: think candles that smell of Luke's Diner ("coffee scented with a shot of cynicism"), Emily Gilmore's Wine ("pinot grigio scented" aka sandalwood and citrus) and Oy With The Poodles ( a pet odor eliminating candle that smells of orange, vanilla and cedar). You know what? This is just what the market has been waiting for

Finally, a candle to accompany the eternal flame of the "will-they-won't-they" Luke/Lorelai saga. A fire to accompany the caliente chemistry between Star Hollows' favourite bad boy, Jesse and Rory. Some soy wax to accompany me waxing lyrical about Paul Anka, cutest TV dog in the history of the small screen. But, before you rush to the Etsy store, I recommend you read some authoritative reviews. Nope, I'm not talking about laborious browsing through candle vlogger videos. Who better to review the product than the inhabitants of Stars Hollow themselves?

Lorelai Gilmore, On The "Lorelai Gilmore's Daisies" Candle

"Daisies are just fabulous, aren't they? Especially if they remind you of that one time the man of your dreams proposed in the most gorgeously 1940s Golden-Age-of-Hollywood way, filling an entire room with 1000 yellow daisies, and then, true to form, you pulled a Julia Roberts circa The Runaway Bride and took to the road on an impulsive road trip, recalcitrant daughter probably drafting notes for her own future version of Mommy Dearest but with all those extra nice, gushy, sugary bits cut out. But still. I thought a candlemaker would make me smell like 20 cups of coffee condensed into one candle, not daisies. This is kind of flattering."

Luke Danes On The "Coffee @ Luke's Diner" Candle

"Hey, it's you again. If you think you're going to get coffee on the house by waving a candle in my face, you, buddy, are sorely mistaken. Hang on a second — let me see that label properly. You've got to be kidding me. I know this place fills up fast, but, really, now you caffeine junkies are now trying to get served before the guy in front of you in line by bribing me with my own personalized candles? Let me tell you something, pal, Luke Danes don't work that way. Well, don't be so touchy. No, really. C'mon, let me take a whiff. You know what? I would never, never, never in a million years endorse an @ sign before my name, but that smell's really got something. Tell you what — bring me a few more of those round tomorrow and coffee's on the house for the rest of the week."

Rory Gilmore On The "You've Been GILMORED" Candle

"I mean, while I'm not exactly in favour of the commodification of small town America even via as upstanding a company as Etsy, this doesn't smell half bad. So sue me! How could you make pop tarts and pancakes smell bad, anyway? That's literally against the laws of science. OK. You've got me. I'm going to stop sniffing books and start sniffing wax instead. Maybe me and mom should start looking into starting our own fragrance line. Who knew we smelt so good?"

I, for one, always knew that Stars Hollows smelled amazing, and this just confirms it. Whether you're more into the scent of daisies or coffee n' cynicism, there's a scent for everyone here. Birthday present for your best friend? Sorted. Thank you, PickMeCups.

Images: Warner Bros. Television