Entertainment

How Will Kris Approach Kimye's Wedding?

by Kristie Rohwedder

Sunday night, E! aired Kanye West’s elaborate, cinematic proposal to Kim Kardashian. The family and friends watching the AT&T Park proposal cried. I watched on my TV and cried. The family and friends danced on the field. I danced in my living room and pretended I was dancing with Kardashian and West and their family and friends on the field.

Kris Jenner and West were the only ones who knew about the proposal before it happened. Everyone else thought they were going to a secret birthday party for Kardashian. As the night went on, the other family members started to suspect something was up. Something beyond “a secret birthday party.” Why would well-known jeweler Lorraine Schwartz be here? Birthday diamonds? OR ENGAGEMENT DIAMONDS?! Whether or not they had an idea as to what was about to go down, the family was delighted and shocked when West took a knee and presented a ring to North's mother.

The day of the proposal, Jenner enforced a strict no social media rule, arranged for a private jet from Los Angeles to San Francisco, and rented vehicles with blacked-out windows. No one was going to catch them en route if it was the last thing she did. And her efforts paid off. The surprise engagement surprised Kardashian. SUCCESS.

That West and Jenner pulled off a covert ops proposal in 2014 is impressive. West and Kardashian are arguably one of the most famous couples on the planet, and the Internet makes note of their every move. I understand why Jenner was so hardcore with the prep and execution. A single Instagram photo could’ve tipped off Kardashian (or the paparazzi!) and derailed the entire scheme. She couldn't leave any stone unturned or any Twitter account free to roam.

How intense will Jenner be about Kardashian and West’s wedding? No, it's not going to be a surprise, so the stakes will be different. But! It is going to be the union of The Kim Kardashian and The Kanye West. An event that is to be taken seriously. An event that has no room for error. Jenner undoubtedly recognizes this. Based on what we saw on the proposal ep of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, I have a few ideas as to how Jenner might approach the wedding:

Burn Cell Phones

Some people ask their wedding guests to put their cell phones away during the ceremony. It can be a "don't block the people sitting behind you with your phone" thing, a "stay in the moment" thing, or a "let the photogs we hired take the photos" thing.

Simply tucking your phone into your purse might not be enough for Jenner, however. What if someone manages to sneakily snap a photo of the most important wedding of our time and sell it to the tabloids? DISASTER. The only pics that will make it into the papers will probably have to be Jenner-sold/Jenner-approved. So how might Jenner prevent secret photos of the wedding from leaking out? She could personally confiscate and destroy all cell phones at the door. She could use a mini incinerator. Or just throw the phones into a fireplace.

Remote Location

Reportedly, the wedding will be in Paris, but what if this info is a red herring? A plant? An attempt to throw us off the scent? Jenner could've arranged for the ceremony to actually take place on an unchartered/uber-private island in the middle of no where. Why? To keep the wedding crashers far, far away. Also, it'd be a VERY epic, press-worthy move.

Ultimate M.O.B. Dress

Jenner wore a Alexander McQueen gown to the proposal. A gown that Kate Hudson wore to the Golden Globes. GLAMOUR. If Jenner wore an awards ceremony-level dress to the proposal, what will she wear to the wedding? What will her mother of the bride look be?!

My vote: Lupita Nyong’o’s stunning SAG Awards dress, but covered in diamonds and emeralds and sapphires. Head-to-toe. She'd look like she was wearing a gown made out of jewels. EPIC ELEGANCE. "But that doesn't sound like an M.O.B. dress, Kristie," you say. EXACTLY. Always thinking outside of the box, those Kardashian-Jenners.