Entertainment

Who's The Ultimate 'Veronica Mars' Couple?

by Mary Grace Garis

It’s no mystery why relationships and romances often go awry on Veronica Mars . The city of Neptune is just filled with many too many crazies with way too many secrets to create sustainable unions. Still, there’s no lack of trying: fanfiction proves time and time again that the high-intensity relationship drama in Veronica Mars makes for good television (and a good Kickstarter funded movie). But of course, there were certain relationships fans were more invested in than others.

And so now is the time to rank them accordingly. I looked at an array of relationships the principles players were involved in, and determined which ones riled up the fandom the most. OK, so implied bias to follow, because everyone’s entitled to stick to their OTP even if the ship and sinking. I did try to keep to couples (or trysts, or weirdo affairs, or quasi-relationships) that happened within the duration of the show... not before. I mean, I definitely don’t have the emotional energy to keep up with all of Lilly’s guy drama, I’ll tell you that.

In any case, here is an official (“official”) ranking of 13 Veronica Mars relationships by the amount of emotional investment most Marshmallows put into them.

13. Mac And Bronson

I vaguely remember this was a thing, and a notable Mac upgrade from "mass murdering psychopath," but without doing a refresher rewatch he might as well be interchangeable with...

12. Mac And Max

Max being Mac's follow-up super nerd boyfriend. Aggressively fine.

11. Keith And Alicia

I don't know, I don't think any of us went into a Veronica Mars episode really stoked for a Keith romantic subplot. Still, it gets bemusement points because it provoked the far-off possibility that Wallace and Veronica could become step siblings.

10. Wallace And Jackie

Bleeeeh, this. True Life: I really don't care about Wallace and Jackie. But their story arc somehow constantly floated up to the waters of Neptune, sort of forcing us to care. There were a lot of things going on in Season 2, this was just a distraction at best.

9. Mac And Beaver

It was her first serious relationship. And we were all a little bit on edge about her happiness with Cassidy. Unfortunately at the end of the day I was way, way more focused on Cassidy blowing up Veronica's dad and/or offing our lead heroine to remember how this all affected Mac. Although, it's important to remember that Mac was involved in the season finale drama, too, girl really operates best single.

8. Logan and Hannah

Hannah seemed waaaay too innocent to be a viable romantic prospect, let's be real. She was a placeholder, but one that definitely aggravated the LoVe fandom.

7. Logan And Kendall

This would rank better, I suppose, if we could deem the two an actual couple. Technically, they probably weren't? Maybe more of just an illicit recurring boinkfest. Still, from the get-go you knew this would be an ugly situation to come to light, and sure enough Veronica found out about it at the worst possible moment. So, lots of stress about that.

6. Veronica And Leo

Somebody out there probably still has a heavy investment in Veronica's quick relationship with the proto-Schmidt cop. And while it was so cute to see Veronica cheerful and dating (such a novel concept), the majority of the fandom could see there was bigger and more brooding things on the horizon.

5. Veronica And Troy

OK, it was short-lived and nearly forgettable in hindsight. You know what, though? This was also Veronica's first relationship out of the gate, post-Duncan. Fans didn't know Veronica super well yet, but we wanted her to find happiness, and Logan was still bashing in cars at the time.

4. Logan And Parker

So, the thing about this is that we all knew Parker was a season regular, so she was going to be a lot harder to shrug off or ship to a Vermont boarding school than the Hannahs of the world. Still, it wasn't a matter of "Would this be the One for Logan?" so much as it was, "How long will they drag this out?" Turns out it would be until the series finale, when she mercifully broke up with Logan after seeing him get enraged over all his Veronica feels.

3. Veronica And Piz

Meanwhile, this. Same song, different lyrics: even when they paraded Piz into the movie as Veronica's main squeeze we never thought he stood a realistic chance against LoVe. But this isn't about that, this is more about how during the series fans never thought he stood a realistic chance against LoVe. I'm sure there are hardcore Veronica and Piz shippers, and I have respect for their conviction. However, for many fans, this was just something agonizing we had to wait out. Although, again, it is always refreshing to see Veronica happy.

2. Veronica And Duncan

Sometimes it feels like Duncan — who departed midway Season 2 to be a dad on the run — is a sort of specter in the Veronica Mars series, fainter than the ghost of Lilly. Looking back on the Duncan era, however, there was all sorts of drama way too sophisticated for 11th grade going on. Even if you take out the core triangle between him, Veronica, and Logan, you couldn't escape that fact that Veronica did truly love Duncan for a time, that he did unceremoniously break her heart, and that he totally seemed like a viable suspect in Lilly's murder case (but he didn't). You can't deny that the possibility of incest was an intense subplot and that when Veronica sobbed at the possibility, you wanted to cry with her. Whatever side of the Duncan-Logan thing you're on, this had a hell of an impact on all of our feels.

And yet we still need to give the crown to...

1. Veronica And Logan

EPIC. An epic decade-long anxiety attack trying to watch these two crazy kids make it work. Few couples in pop culture history has emotionally ruined a fanbase like Veronica and Logan, and subsequently their relationship quickly eclipsed the franchise. You really think a relationship should be that hard? Mm, probably not. But it's certainly a ride to watch.

Images: Warner Bros. Television; Giphy (13)