Books

What Your Favorite Shakespeare Play Says About You

by Charlotte Ahlin

There are book nerds, and there are drama nerds, and there are history buffs. And then there are William Shakespeare nerds, the all too dangerous epicenter of the literature-drama-history nerd trifecta. Nearly all Shakespeare nerds are voracious readers with big vocabularies and a flare for the dramatic. But there's no one right way to be a fan of the bard, so check out what your favorite Shakespeare play says about you.

People may roll their eyes at Shakespeare, or claim that his language is impossible to understand. But if you've used the word "elbow," or praised someone's "swagger," or gone on a "wild goose chase," you're quoting Shakespeare. If you've ever claimed to have a "heart of gold," or ordered a coffee with "skim milk," or complained that your Tinder date "vanished into thin air," you're still quoting Shakespeare. Dude is everywhere.

But there are many ways to be a Shakespeare fanatic. You don't have to love every play he ever wrote (I'll admit, I have pretty "meh" feelings about Pericles). You might even be a sonnets fan who prefers a quiet walk in the garden to an all-out drama. You might favor the mix-em-up comedies where everyone dresses in drag over the serious histories where people stab each other to death, or visa versa. Whatever you like, here's what your favorite Shakespeare play probably says about you:

1. Romeo and Juliet

You've been accused of being a hopeless romantic... and it's not that far off. You like dinners by candlelight, handwritten love letters, movies with Rachel McAdams, and kissing in the rain. You prefer rosé to beer. And nothing is sexier to you than a forbidden romance. But you're no fool: you'll defend R & J to the haters who think it's about two dumb teenagers in love, because you know that passion isn't the same as stupidity.

2. Hamlet

You drink too much coffee. You've been called an "overthinker," and you've gotten points deducted for going too far over the word limit on an assignment. You like old movies that make your friends groan, and you've gotten into at least one Twitter fight. You wear a lot of black, agonize over decisions, and you don't mind standing out from the crowd. You refuse to download "Pokemon Go" on principle.

3. Twelfth Night

You had crush on someone in your Gender Studies class in college. An ideal date for you would involve music and an in-depth discussion of the spectrum of human sexuality. Most people think you're a little quiet at first, but you always have a good quip or two to break the ice. You're usually the one to bring up whether or not a movie passes the Bechdel Test.

4. The Tempest

You have a complicated relationship with your dad. You've taken at least one class on post-colonial literature, and you have a lot of conflicting feelings about the character of Caliban. And Ariel. And Prospero. Alone time is important to you, and you can read for hours on end—usually a fantasy book, or something set in a different time and place. You're good at finding magic in quiet spaces. You're also a pretty fun drunk.

5. King Lear

You have a very complicated relationship with your father. You also have a complicated relationship with the TV show Game of Thrones (you've read more than five think-pieces about the treatment of female characters, or written at least one). Your humor is so dry that it can be a little off-putting, but the people who get you know you're hilarious. You enjoy a good thunderstorm.

6. As You Like It

You're just as comfortable in heels or combat boots. You can enjoy a peaceful day in nature and still tear it up on the dance floor at night. You pride yourself on your flirty texting game, but one glance from your crush can still utterly destroy you. You tell your best friend everything, and you like playing a wingman almost as much as you like to flirt. You're gifted when it comes to crafting a funny Snapstory.

7. Macbeth

You enjoy a good horror movie, and your Halloween costumes are always on point. You always prefer a more complicated, nuanced villain in your stories, especially when it comes to the evil queen characters (I mean you don't condone Lady M's actions, but you can get behind her general attitude). You've fallen down a weird Wikipedia rabbit hole of reading about serial killers at least once.

8. Much Ado About Nothing

You're all about that flirty banter. You and your partner bicker like an old married couple, but that's just because wordplay is your favorite kind of foreplay. You'd never admit it, but you love those rom-coms where the couple hates each other, but then by the end they love each other. You're competitive and snarky, and you can enjoy the occasional prank, but you care a lot about your friends. If some dude ever falsely accused your friend of cheating, you would take him down.

9. Richard III

Your favorite part of any Disney movie is the villain's song. You're a little embarrassed to admit that you like soap operas, especially if they're set in a historical time period (preferably filled with murder and deceit). If you haven't yet read The Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey, it's about to be your new favorite book. You flipped out when they found Richard's body under that parking lot.

10. The Taming of the Shrew

You've definitely had to defend this one to the haters, because most people write off Shrew as sexist nonsense. But you understand that it's also a commentary on gender roles. You own more than one shirt with a feminist message on it. You're not into "sexy banter" so much as you're into "vicious insults" that are secretly sexy banter.

11. Othello

You're a romantic, but you're not so much into the wine and candlelight. You want tales of bravery and possibly discussions of military history. You're going to love exactly who you love, society be damned. You're sometimes guilty of jealousy or jumping to conclusions, but it's only because you're so passionate (but seriously, talk it out before you pick up that pillow).

12. Titus Andronicus

...really? Titus Andronicus is your favorite Shakespeare play? You probably have a pack on fake blood on your person at all times. You own a collection of low-budget horror movies from the '80s, but your favorite movie of all time is Saw. You know exactly how all the effects were done, and your neighbors are scared of you.

13. Henry V

You were a bit of a wild child in your younger days, but you've pulled it together and purged your apartment of all those empty beer cans. You're a natural-born leader with a good sense of humor, but you don't stand for disrespect (France had better not try to send you any tennis balls). You like epic movies where the good guys win.

14. Julius Caesar

You love political dramas. Your friends won't watch The West Wing with you anymore because you talk too much.

15. The Merchant of Venice

You like your history complicated. No simple good guys and bad guys. You have a pattern of falling for people who make disastrous financial decisions (or you make disastrous financial decisions, and your long-suffering S.O. has to help you figure out where all your money went). You love lawyer movies, but The Bachelorette is your guilty pleasure.

16. The Winter's Tale

You like re-tellings of fairy tales. You would also totally pretend to be a statue for sixteen years just to teach your idiot husband an important lesson.

17. A Midsummer Night's Dream

You're still happy that Jim and Pam got together on The Office. You love a good farce and you've definitely worn glitter on your face in public. You're liable to burst into showtunes at any hour of the day or night, and you were probably a part of a love triangle (if not a love rectangle) with several other members of your college theater department.

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