When it comes to the best pickup lines, I don't think there are any winners. I've never heard a pickup line that makes me go, "Yup, I'd totally be DTF whoever laid that sweet line on me." They are, by definition, awful. But sometimes, it can feel like there's no good way to ask someone out.
There's no good way, but there are certain some bad ones. In Cosmopolitan's recent video "Guys Reveal The Funniest Ways They've Ever Been Asked Out", they lay out just how bad some of them can be. Now, considering I've heard "Nice teeth, looks like you brush them" and "Great knees, do you want to go Atlantic city?" and of course the classic "LESBIANS!" as an attempt at a threesome with me and my girlfriend, some of the ones in this video don't seem too bad. Although I have to say, changing your work schedule over and over again to match a guy's gym schedule is pretty suspicious.
And I have to give these girls kudos for asking these guys out. Despite being totally badass and the fact that most guys are definitely cool with women asking them out, doing it can still feel taboo.
You can check out the whole video here:
And here are my favorite parts, because the course of true love never did run through a pumpkin patch:
"I'd Take A Bit Outta That Ass"
A classic pickup line. Followed up by "What's your phone number?" It's almost amazing that it didn't work.
"One Day She Asked Me If I Like Pumpkins"
Then she baked him pumpkin bread. Then she asked him to go pumpkin picking. I don't think she was so much interested in him as an opportunity to work out her pumpkin fetishes with a willing partner. To each their own.
"She Wrote "Prom" In Duct Tape On The Back Of My Car"
Don't worry, she helped him take it off.
"She Just Ran, Chased After Me."
A woman who knows what she wants. Or was multitasking during marathon training. Either way, she asked him for a drink and he went with it, but it wounds like it all ended there.
"She Straddled Me With Leather Pants"
She came unto him in a dog run. He was 17. She was his neighbor's fiancé. This sounds less like a pickup line and more like a breakdown in progress.
Images: Cosmopolitan/YouTube
