Entertainment

These 'SATC' Episodes Could Use An Update

by Amy Roberts

I can't be the only person who experiences some of the modern grievances of everyday life just wishing that Sex And The City was still on the air to make it all better. Of course, Sex And The City had its fair share of problems with its portrayals of race, gender and sexuality, but what it did do right, it did great. So, I was just as delighted as the next fan to hear Sarah Jessica Parker's recent comments suggesting that Sex And The City could return to TV one day (she reportedly told the Press Association that it was, "a possibility, definitely"). A big part of my desire to see the show return, honestly, lies in the fact that I'm eager to see some of the problems of the original series ultimately updated in some way. Like, some of the more out of date episodes of Sex And The City that simply haven't held up well in these modern times.

Of course, considering that the show started airing in 1998, it's hard to blame SATC for the fact that there are so many out of date touches in episodes. It's glaring in 2016, though: From the lack of cellphones, smartphones, and basic understanding of the advantages of the internet to just how helpful phone apps could have been in saving the characters plenty of hurt, time, and effort, I'm pretty sure this show would have been entirely different if it were set now. I've been thinking back through to some episodes which definitely could have benefited from a modern touch, and you know what? If many of these episodes would have been set now, then we would have missed out on a whole lot of drama. Here's 13 out of date episodes of SATC which would have been vastly different in 2016:

1. Carrie's Disastrous 35th Birthday Party Could Have Been Easily Avoided

It still hurts to think of the start of this episode when Carrie thinks she's been stood up by her friends in a restaurant on her 35th birthday. But, you know what? The whole sorry event could have been easily avoided if Samantha, Charlotte, or Miranda could have just IMed or texted her to let her know why they were held up, and updated her on where they were. In the meantime, Carrie could have just popped to a local bar while she waited and treated herself to a birthday cosmo. No solitary birthday tears in the shower would have been necessary.

2. Carrie Would Have Had Better Awareness Of Her Financial Situation

When Carrie realizes that she's wasted the majority of her income on shoes and is actually not doing so great in the financial department she's genuinely shocked at the discovery. For those of us who live in the real world where a single bill is enough to wake anyone up at 4 a.m. in a cold sweat, though, online banking is pretty much a godsend. Thanks to it, we all know our account balance to the penny. Trust me, the Chase app could have saved Carrie's finances a lot of trouble.

3. Big Could Have Wooed Carrie Back From Paris In A Much Simpler Manner

Ugh, listen, nobody liked Aleksandr Petrovsky — aka, Carrie's horrendous artist boyfriend during Season 6 whom she moved to Paris for. I'm sure we can all agree here that we were pretty much rooting for Mr. Big to swoop in and stop her from leaving. And yes, it was adorably romantic when Big went to Paris to find her — but, you know what a simpler gesture might have been? Simply sending any number of romantic messages to her via social media and email, just begging her to return.

4. Carrie Could Have Also Felt Less Alienated And Alone In Paris

On top of the fact that Aleksandr had hardly any spare time to spend with her and she had no friends there, Carrie also didn't speak a whole lot of French, and didn't integrate with Parisian culture all that well. But, there are so many helpful apps to help with that now. Not only could she have easily learned French on the go, but she could have also used social media or social apps to find like-minded people to hang out with so she would have been less alone, and ultimately, happier for a while there.

5. Carrie Wouldn't Have Woken Up Super Early To Read Her Book Review In The New York Times

Uh, hello? It's called staying in bed, reading it online, and then victoriously sharing it with the world at large on Twitter, you fool.

6. Samantha Probably Could Have Caught Richard Cheating Way Sooner Than She Did

She always suspected that he was up to no good with somebody, but she just couldn't find the proof (until, of course, she eventually did). In just about any one of the episodes where Samantha accuses Richard of being unfaithful to her, there could have been countless social indications which might have clued her to the truth. Some basic online sleuthing of his social media accounts might have pointed her in the right direction.

7. Berger (Probably) Wouldn't Have Broken-Up With Carrie Via A Post-It Note

Such a jerk move. Even worse was that Carrie had no real way to get in touch with him about it afterwards, as he simply disappeared in the big romantic horizon on his motorbike. Ghosting IRL! In 2016, of course, he could have sent her a text, and she could have easily have put him on blast for it across the internet (and direct to all of his inboxes), instantly. That, my friends, is called closure.

8. Carrie Wouldn't Have Gotten Away With Calling & Hanging Up On Poor Aiden

When Carrie is trying to win back the affections of the poor, long suffering Aiden, she confesses that she's been calling and hanging up on him (classic). It was a bad tactic then, and an even worse one now when those missed call logs linger in someone's phone like a bad stench.

9. It Wouldn't Have Been A Big Deal For Miranda To Move To Brooklyn

Miranda was pretty distraught when she and Steve had to move to Brooklyn — and so were Carrie, Samantha and Charlotte. But, seriously? Was it even that big a deal? Not only was it not that far away, but, as reports indicate regarding current Brooklyn rent prices, the area is still incredibly affluent and in-demand, maybe even more so than Manhattan now. Plus, missing Miranda at lunch? If she was really that against taking the L train in to Manhattan for some time with her girlfriends, why not have her involved "at the table" by seating an iPad on there and having her be present via Facetime? Done.

10. Carrie Could Have Made Mr. Big Jealous In A Much Simpler Fashion

Remember the episode where Carrie actually attended a Dolce & Gabbana party with a player from the Yankees because she wanted to make Big jealous? She and her date for the night got featured in Page Six, and, of course, it made Big wild with jealousy. But wow is that a lot of effort just to invoke an emotion in someone. Nowadays, Carrie could achieve the same outcome by simply grabbing a selfie of her looking phenomenal with the same Yankee player and posting it to Instagram. #HowDoYouLikeThemApples?

11. Carrie Never Would Have Forgiven Her Awful New York Magazine Cover

Single and fabulous? Ouch, that one would be hard for anyone to bounce back from. In the episode, Carrie freaks out (obviously), but then positively reasons that she'll "be history" by the next week. But, if that were to happen now? Well, let's be brutally honest about this, that cover would have probably produced its own set of memes by now. Not everything is better in 2016.

12. Carrie Might Not Have Been Caught In Big's Apartment By His Wife

Oof, talk about awkward. I know that Big and his wife, Natasha, were hardly on speaking terms by the time she walked in on Carrie just making herself comfortable in their apartment, but I'd still like to think that Big would have had the good sense to at least double check that his other half wasn't going to be home any time soon. That's what the sweet convenience of a quick message can do for you, guys. And, it could have saved poor Natasha an extremely broken tooth, and some likely very painful surgery.

13. Dating Apps Could Have Given Samantha Much More Sexual Convenience

Whether or not Samantha enjoyed all of the effort and game-playing that she appeared to put into meeting men for spontaneous sex sessions in, well, the majority of SATC episodes is a big question in itself. But really, Samantha would have had it so much easier had she had access to dating apps during the original run of the show. For a sexually adventurous and liberated woman like Samantha, a dating app is the easiest and most convenient way to find sex on demand with someone that she'd likely not want to speak to again.

Of course, while many of these episodes may feel out of date now, they're still pretty awesome. They're also proof of a time when we didn't have to rely on being surgically attached to our smartphones and checking our social media every hour or so just to survive. Anyone remember how that feels?

Images: HBO (2); Giphy (10)