Entertainment

The 28 Most Ridiculous 'PLL' Halloween Moments

by S. Atkinson

It's that time of the year, folks. And if, like yours truly, you're way more into Pretty Little Liars than your garden-variety slasher movies (too much blood), psychological thrillers (what could be more psychologically intense than figuring out where the hell Alison is?), or even supernatural blockbusters (ghosts aren't real, but mean texts are), then maybe it's time to pencil in rewatching Season 4, Episode 13's "Grave New World." There were a ton of things I noticed when rewatching this Pretty Little Liars Halloween episode that I missed the first time around, back when I was more engaged by the plot than the contextual details.

It's a real doozy of an episode, because, if you remember, it was the show's attempt to launch its spin-off series Ravenswood , which meant way more conversations on buses with plucky orphan girls and way less scariness than you may remember. It also acted as a microcosm for the themes that would dominate the rest of the show: the girls being trapped in enclosed spaces, way too much time dedicated to minor characters we'd never see again, Emily being stereotyped as "the sporty one," and incredibly vague-slash-meaningful statements being made by the ever-delightful Mrs. Grunwald.

Ready? Let's do this.

1. The Liars Manage To Get Ready For This Party In A Suspiciously Short Time

Hang on a second, aren’t they hot on Ali’s trail? If that’s the case, how the heck did they find the time to source period-relevant costumes which also, coincidentally, fit their personal taste in fashion? For example, Hanna’s girly costume or Aria’s accessory heavy costume.

2. Still, Not Everybody Lucks Out In The Fashion Stakes

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Aria Montgomery: the Cat In The Hat.

3. If The Party's Meant To Be Edwardian-Themed…

Why does this minor character look exactly like Princess Di circa her '80s wedding?

4. Why Does Everyone Creepy/Important On This Show Have A Red Jacket?

Too many red jackets to chase after in this episode. It’s all very Don’t Look Now.

5. Hanna’s Boobs Are An Important Fifth Character In This Episode

Seriously, girl. Recent history has told you that any night out will be spent fighting for your life. Do you really want to be watching out for nip slips the whole time?

6. Caleb Is On The Bus To Ravenswood & Meets This Girl Who’s Hiding From "The Creepy Guy At The Back Of The Bus." This Is Him:

“Do you think we can steal his bag of chips? The creep at the back of the bus, I mean.” Lady, you're the creep. Stealing some stranger’s snacks while he sleeps? So not OK.

7. She Reaches For His Chips & He Looks At Her Like This

That’s right, he’s blind. Ravenswood girl (aka Miranda), your karma is officially f*cked.

8. Aria Goes Off Into The Middle Of Nowhere, Because All of The Liars Have Memories Like Goldfish & Forget That It’s Never A Great Idea To Split Up

Then this inevitably happens and you wet your pants because it’s so freaking jumpy.

9. This Moment Is Absurd

The disembodied grabbing hand was Wedding Dress Girl, who had fallen (or was pushed?) into a grave. This is never explained. Then the soldier dude’s like, “I told you it wasn’t safe here.” What does any of this mean? Don’t worry, just another loose end in the rat king of loose ends that is Pretty Little Liars.

10. Can We Take A Moment To Talk About Emily & Spencer’s Costumes?

Emily is a gangster who forgot her shirt. I … can’t even start with this one aesthetically or logically. Meanwhile, while everyone else is going all in cleavage-wise, poor Spencer gets to dress as Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey. Stop stereotyping, PLL stylists: Brainy girls can show cleavage, too.

11. A Creepy Corridor Down To A Basement? Let’s Definitely Go Down Here, Nothing Bad Will Happen

Cue the door slamming shut. It's locked, obviously.

12. Now That You Know CeCe Drake AKA Charles Was 'A,' Everything Is Absurd When Rewatching

Like, did CeCe spend all the $$$ she made on smart investments on statues weeping blood? Yes, yes she did.

13. PLL Jumps The Shark

There’s a wild gust of wind while Aria and Hanna are holding hands and then … Hanna disappears and is replaced by a statue? This is never explained. Hanna’s fine, BTW. She just vanishes somewhere else, because teleportation is a thing in Ravenswood.

14. I’m Unsure Who Fans Are Supposed To Think Daubed This, In Retrospect

Ali with her own blood? But she looks fine at the end of the episode. CeCe to freak out Hanna? Or anonymous person CeCe injured for the hell of it?

15. Oh, A Creepy Vintage Phone Booth — I’m Going To Check It Out. What Could Go Wrong?

Hanna, I can’t even. You know this. You know someone’s going to lock you in. Still, it gives you weird déjà vu watching this because it feels like every drunk Halloween night freaking out in a toilet cubicle, because you drank too many neon green cocktails covered with spider webs and now you’re unable to work a lock at all.

16. Oddly Pretty Lights Surround The Phone Booth

But it’s PLL, so this is terrifying, obviously.

17. Ravenswood Girl Finds Her Uncle’s House

Why does every house in Ravenswood look like it was decorated by a maximalist Victorian? Does IKEA not exist there?

18. The PLL Writers Are Like That One Friend Who Just Got Back From Studying Abroad & Wants, So Badly, For You To Care About That Random Person She Met There

“Let me tell you another thing about Carrie, she’s so into astrology.” It's an incredibly detailed backstory for a minor character who will never appear on PLL again. This is the real torture of Ravenswood, not shutting our heroines in increasingly enclosed spaces.

19. This Piece Of Spiked Glass Almost Kills Aria & Emily

It’s lucky that post-traumatic stress disorder doesn’t appear to exist in the PLL universe. Because if it did, this pair would just have sat on the floor rocking to and fro, contemplating their own mortality for the rest of the episode.

20. Blood Drops From A Chandelier

And viewers never find out whose injured body is lying in the room above. I’m not saying every single loose end needs to be tied up, but like, 50 percent would be nice.

21. “One Of You Has Been Touched By The One Ali Fears The Most”

In retrospect, Mrs. Grunwald is the least helpful psychic ever. How is this even a clue that A was CeCe Drake? Just 'cause CeCe touched Aria’s shoulder once for a split second? PLL, I despair.

22. The Blind Guy With Snacks Was Dead All Along

Miranda, you messed with a ghost. This is going to suck for you.

23. The Most WTF Moment Of The Episode

Hanna basically says, “Caleb! Finally, we’re reunited after me being locked into tiny spaces and scared out of my mind. But hey, you should go off with this random girl and help her find her uncle. Please don’t stay anywhere near me, I do really well when I’m alone. Also, lol, yeah she’s really hot. Don’t cheat on me, OK?” The grounds for the Ravenwood spin-off series have been established, but at what cost?

24. Conspiracy Theory: Hanna Wants Caleb To Go, Because His Hair’s So Good & À La Clueless, What Does She Bring To The Relationship?

You know it makes sense.

25. “One Of Us Knows How To Change A Tire, Right?”

Emily goes, “And you’re looking at me because I’m gay?” “No … It’s just that, you’re the sporty one.” Um. Nice try, Aria.

26. Running Away From Your Captor Gives You Hair Straight Out Of A L’Oréal Commercial

Just ask Ali.

27. Oh, Snap! Plot Twist

It’s not just the blind guy: Caleb’s potentially a ghost, too. They find a gravestone with his name and photo on it and everything.

28. Haha, Remember This?

PLL needs to stop trying to frame Ezra as the bad guy. This must have happened a zillion times now. Seriously. Even when the show’s over, they’ll just tweet ominous stills of Rosewood’s creepiest high school English teacher (#sorrynotsorry, never letting the weird Aria/Ezra age gap go).

I laughed, I cried, I shuddered. This wasn't a Halloween rewatch, this was the Halloween rewatch. So if you're looking for that distinctive mix of absurdity and terror that Pretty Little Liars offers, you have to go with this episode. Just make sure you learn from the Liars' mistakes: Don't watch it alone.

Images: Freeform (29)