Farrah Penned the Next '50 Shades'

If being outed as a porn star took a toll on your existence, perhaps you'd take to penning a series of unapologetic essays with a clear-cut stance like the Duke porn star. But if explaining yourself in a way that causes listeners' brows to furrow in extreme puzzlement sounds like a more appealing approach, then follow the lead of Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham and write a trilogy of erotic books inspired by the porn you did — or didn't do, depending on which version of the truth Abraham offers. Much like nearly everything else whisper-cried by the reality TV star during her appearance on VH1's Couple Therapy, this latest literary move contradicts Abraham's claims that porn ruined her life, and makes a complete mockery of her supposed battle against the release of two sex tapes she took part in.

Creatively titled Celebrity Sex Tape: In The Making, the first installment of the trilogy will be released in June. Apparently, Abraham has high hopes for her books, already claiming them as the second coming (no pun intended) of 50 Shades of Grey. Considering the fact that her memoir landed on the New York Times best seller list, it pains me to have to hold off on taking the idea of her writing outselling someone else's and immediately filing it under the category of "not gonna happen."

The success of Abraham's first book reveals that there's a significant market for what must be the mind-numbing, brain cell-destroying celebrity memoir genre of writing. After all, the numbers don't lie. But the fact that Abraham is releasing this series of books proves that she does. It stands to reason that someone whose life was genuinely ruined by porn wouldn't release a glossy-covered book that basically exploits the situation that allegedly caused her so much pain.

Clearly, someone is buying what Abraham is selling, but I'm not.