We're Glad to See This 'Big Brother' Houseguest Go

I couldn't have been more excited when Helen successfully backdoored Jeremy as this week's third nominee, alongside Aaryn and Spencer. Doesn't seem like our dude has much of a chance. As insufferable as Aaryn's constant stream of hatefulness is, it nevertheless makes her a great target to keep around.

Aaryn tries to sweet-talk her way to safety, while Jeremy decides to atone for his blatant misogynism by ... apologizing? No, of course not. He puts on a diaper and baby bonnet and dances around for the entertainment of his fellow houseguests.

Poor Aaryn continues to shoulder the white girl's burden: "People hate people who are good at things. People hate people who are cute." Woe is she, this dead-eyed offspring of Regina George and a Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.

But nothing compares with GinaMarie's grief over the departure of Nick, who, to review, she was not dating, had never kissed, and had known only for a couple of weeks. As a prank, Aaryn, Amanda and McCrae conspire to steal her holiest Nick relics: his cereal box, hat and mug. I am terrified. This is like taking John Wayne Gacy's clown shoes.

Unsurprisingly, GinaMarie breaks down. Because Amanda has a conscience, she immediately returns her things—while Aaryn, of course, feigns ignorance of the whole affair.

"[Her crying] ruined the entire joke," Aaryn whines. Are we sure this is a real person, and not some kind of gonzo method actress?

Delightfully, we visit Amanda and McCrae's families to get their reactions to McCranda's budding showmance. In Minneapolis, McCrae's dad cheers him on: "That's my body!" In Boca Raton, Amanda's mom is less impressed with her daughter's pizza-delivering boyfriend. "I am secretly wishing that McCrae is the CEO of a technology company," she laments.

Helen's plan unfolds beautifully. Jeremy is evicted in a nine-vote landslide. Good riddance. In his interview with Chenbot, he's unsurprisingly unrepentant: "I'm not a bully, it just comes off that way because of how big I am." Kthxbye.

Big news: Next week, the third nominee for eviction will be chosen not by the MVP, but by America's votes. It'll be interesting to see how this will affect the HoH's strategy, considering it's pretty clear that the general populace won't look too kindly on Aaryn.

In this week's Head of Household competition, Big Brother Royalty, contestants guess how fans voted to award the houseguests various courtly titles. Aaryn, for example, is the unanimous "Earl of Egotism."

The game comes down to a three-way tie between Judd, Kaitlin and McCrae, who must estimate the number of gallons of milk it would take to fill all three vats in Wednesday's Veto Competition. Boom—Judd pulls off the win. Good news for Helen, Elissa and friends, bad news for the forces of evil (cough, cough, Aaryn, cough).

Image via CBS