Entertainment

This is Best New Reality Show Out There

by L. Turner

So there's a little disagreement about USA's new reality show Chrisley Knows Best here at Bustle. Supposedly Chrisley Knows Best is a show to hate-watch. I'm here on your behalf, readers and lovers of great TV, to mount a rebuttal: Chrisley Knows Best is for love-watching.

The show follows Todd Chrisley, a sort-of bankrupt yet somehow mega-rich father of five living in a tony suburb of Atlanta. It follows him, his wife Julie, and their children Lindsie Campbell, Kyle, Chase, Savannah, and Grayson, the sassiest seven-year-old on TV. Like Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the show clearly doesn't depict true reality, but the family dynamics and Todd's snappy dialogue are too absurd to be completely made-up.

Long story short, it's the best new pseudo-reality show in years. And here's why.

1. Todd Chrisley is a master of the one-liner

The frequently-inappropriate father of five dispenses nuggets of wisdom quicker than you can write them down, but here are a few choice quotes:

On daughter Savannah's dress choice for her birthday party: "Class, not ass!"

On hearing his daughter is flirting with a football player nicknamed "The Buford Bison": "Son, the bigger they are, the harder they fall."

On getting ready: "If the car's perfect, you just get in and drive. I can pretty much walk into my closet and shit's jumping out to get on this body for the day."

On his son Chase's frequent attempts to disobey him: "I've been there, done that, and got the T-shirt, son. You just playing reruns."

On therapy: "This right here is beyond couch time."

2. He's actually a decent dad

Though our first Chrisley post suggested Todd's treatment of his kids was too heteronormative, the viewer gets the feeling that at the end of the day, he treats his kids based on who they are and what they need. His oldest son Kyle and oldest daughter Lindsie get different treatment than the hyper-social (and extremely good-looking) teenagers, and all of them deal with more rules than the baby of the family, Grayson.

After throwing an apparent fit over daughter Savannah's sweet-sixteen party dress, for example — emphasizing that it not be a "coochie-cutter" — he ultimately allows her to pick a (Valentino) dress that hits above the knee. When the (crazy-gorgeous) Savannah comes downstairs, the sass is gone:

"Do you feel good?" Todd asks. "You like what you're wearing? You feel confident in it?"

A+, Dad.

Meanwhile, Todd makes a point of mentioning — twice — that he's spent about a million dollars on rehab for oldest son Kyle, for whom he gets random drug tests administered each week. That seems a little intense until we find out the 23-year-old has an infant daughter, Chloe. Realizing their son's not quite ready to handle the challenge of being a full-time dad, Julie and Todd work out an agreement to share custody with Chloe's mom to help Kyle learn to be a good parent.

Incidentally, Chloe is the most adorable child you've ever seen:

3. Chase and Savannah's sibling misadventures are generally hilarious

These two are too much. Their sibling dynamic generally consists of trying to pull something over on their dad, who insists he's always a step or two ahead of them. Not to spoil a recent episode, but it typically goes a little something like this: Todd hides their cell phones; the teenagers find them; Savannah sneaks a peak at hers while Chase just steals his back; Savannah lies for him; and then Todd does something crazy, like throwing Chase's phone in the lake. Normal.

4. Todd doesn't care that you think he's gay

Todd freely admits that he is about the most flamboyant man around, and the show plays with that by constantly bringing up Todd and Julie's sex life. In an interview with People, Todd made it clear that he could care less what people think of his sexuality:

There's no coming out. What you see is what you get. I am what I am. Other people's opinions of me are just not my business.

And when his eldest daughter Lindsie mentioned that he should prepare to be a gay icon?

I said, "Lindsay, I'd rather be a gay pop icon than I would a redneck ... I'm 45. I really don't care what your opinion of me is. The fact that you are thinking about (what) I'm doing in my bedroom at 45 is exciting to me."

So whether Chrisley's gay, metrosexual, gender-fluid, or something else, why is it any of the viewer's business? The guy is hilarious.

5. Grayson

This kid. We can't get enough. When his dad tells him he can't drink Coke all weekend, he pops one open, takes a sip, and fumes:

You gotta watch who you're talking to. I'm a ADULT.

Also, he named his dog Miley. A little much for seven, but the kid's got panache — just like his dad.

Image: USA