Entertainment

3 Ways 'Rosemary's Baby' Should End

by Kadeen Griffiths

Previous trailers for Rosemary's Baby have focused exclusively on Rosemary or on her baby for some strange reason. The latest one expands a little on her husband and her neighbors — you know, the deranged people who kick off the plot. If the mini-series as a whole was trying to drive us all to make an appointment to get our tubes tied, then the new trailer seems to be making us paranoid about everyone we've ever met, including everyone we've ever loved. The most disturbing part of the show is now not just that Rosemary is carrying the devil's spawn, but that her husband somehow fooled himself into thinking he was doing this to her for her own good.

"I am never going to be able to provide my wife with the life that she deserves," says Patrick J. Adams at the start of the trailer, coming across as a well-meaning husband trying to make his wife's transition to a new life in a new country as smooth as possible. It doesn't really clear up how he thought having her raped by a Satanic cult and gaslighting her to keep her from poking her nose into other people's business was well-meaning, but perhaps the rest of the mini-series will explain that.

So much about the original film has been changed for the remake, which makes sense since there's been a lot of changes in the world that make the 1968 storyline more than a little outdated. However, if they're really looking to give the show a modern and satisfying ending, they could try any of these alternates.

1. Rosemary Becomes a Vigilante Warrior

If there's anything we've learned from Colombiana, it's that Zoe Saldana does the contract killer thing very well. At the climax of the mini-series, Rosemary should morph into a pregnant badass, grab every sharp object in the kitchen, and paint the walls red with her neighbor's blood. Or, you know, just kill everyone standing between her and the nearest exit and then disappear into the French countryside to get away from these freaks and their even freakier plans for her body.

2. Rosemary Divorces Her Husband & Takes Everything

Money is never going to be a fair substitute for what her husband let her neighbors do to her, but it won't hurt. It's going to be a little hard to explain to a judge that your husband sold your body to a Satanic cult so you could give birth to the Antichrist, but people have sought divorces for a lot less. Besides, raising the son of Satan in France has got to be expensive and if she's going to do it then she deserves to have every euro her husband has to offer.

3. Rosemary Raises Her Baby to be the Anti-Antichrist

This was the original ending of the book and it would be a lot more fitting than the original film's implication that Rosemary decides to join the cult. The Devil was the ultimate rebel, so he should appreciate the poetic justice of his child growing up to rebel against him. There's a good chance he might even find it funny enough to avoid punishing anybody over it. Then again, hypocrisy seems like it would be kind of his thing.

Watch the new trailer below.

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