'Scandal' Meets Dr. Suess, For Some Reason

After three seasons, it takes a lot to creep out Scandal fans. No longer is a game of Russian Roulette or a speech from Joe Morton enough to make us shiver; so much has happened over the past few years that only the most graphic Huck/Quinn face-lick can manage to freak us out, and unfortunately, we're even starting to get used to that. Yet even the most toughened Scandal fans will find themselves squirming in their seats after watching this video of Jeff Perry reading The Cat in the Hat in character as Cyrus Beene.

The video starts out simply enough, with Perry, sitting in a strange tan chair, announcing his name and describing his role on Scandal. About thirty seconds in, though, the clip takes an immediate turn for the weird. "Cyrus," Perry says, holding up what looks like script, "if Dr. Seuss was his muse, if Dr. Seuss was his Shonda [Rhimes, Scandal's creator], it might sound like this."

And then all normalcy goes out the window. Suddenly, Perry is reciting The Cat in the Hat in his angry, intimidating Cyrus Beene voice, saying lines like "'put me down,' said the fish, 'this is no fun at all!'" as if the Chief of Staff was yelling them at a White House intern. The actor gets particularly animated around the "I can hold up two books!" part up the poem, and then again at "look at me now!" Suffice to say, hand motions are used.

As for why Perry is reciting Dr. Seuss rhymes in character, we have absolutely no idea. There's no explanation given on the video, and a quick Google search reveals that this wasn't a joke for a talk show segment or some other normal, understandable purpose. No, it seems that the reason for the video's existence for simply because People thought having Perry-as-Cyrus recite The Cat in the Hat would be entertaining, and Perry agreed. Little did they know they'd be creating the weirdest, most disturbing video on the Internet. Thanks for the nightmares, guys.

Watch the video below, if you dare:

Image: ABC