Entertainment

So, There's Going To Be A Peeps Movie...

by Mallory Schlossberg

Everything is awesome — if you're a Peep, that is. In the fashion of the super popular Lego Movie, there is going to be a Peeps movie. Your eyes are not deceiving you. I will reiterate: there is going to be a movie about Peeps, the sugary marshmallow Easter candy. Welcome to contemporary cinema, folks.

Adam Rifkin (Underdog, Detroit Rock City) and his team optioned the rights to Just Born, which is the company that makes these cavity-inducing confections. The film is set to be about "the night before a Peeps diorama contest, when a wayward Peep gets misplaced and must adventure through the fantasy lands of different-themed dioramas before the contest’s judging begins."

In other words, a 90-minute advertisement for your next Easter basket — or, potentially, a subversive commentary on conformity a la Lego Movie. Rifkin is still locking down plot points, so while he pins down specifics for his Peep Movie (title suggestion: PEEPS!! — with two exclamation marks), I've decided to give you some potentially plausible plot points for this otherwise implausible movie.

Let's Talk About That Wayward Peep

First of all, what is a "wayward Peep"? Is it one whose head was bit off by the child who was building the diorama, or is it a Peep who just hasn't decided what he's going to do with the rest of his life? This wayward Peep might feel he just doesn't fit in with his diorama (I will not be just a place in your school project! I want something more!), or maybe he goes off the beaten path because he's just curious about bigger things in life, like Thai food.

There's A Peep Revolution

Do you hear the Peep-le sing?

Perhaps this "wayward" Peep, after seeing what's out there beyond his or her limits, decides that there ought to be a Peep revolution. Can't hold a Peep down. Of course, this Peep revolution should happen in song.

A Villainous Peep Wants To Hold The Other Peeps Down

Because there is always one evil Peep, who usually is just misunderstood by everyone else around him or her. Generally this is the Halloween Peep who everyone thinks is "scary," but really was just "packaged to look like a ghost." Hey, we can't control the way we're packaged, but we can control how we treat other people, right!? (If this film isn't laden with platitudes, then I don't know what it will be.)

There's Peep Racism

Pink Peeps have a lot of things to say about green Peeps, even if they aren't true at all. It's just that when you grow up in the same packaging and have never talked to a blue Peep, it's tough, right? But, hey, a purple Peep and a yellow Peep can get married and their Peep babies will look totally okay.

There's A Lone Jewish Peep

...Who is confused about why he sells predominantly at Easter time. He's dealing with his cultural identity, and at the end of the flick comes of age when he becomes a bar peepsvah.

There's One Wise Old Peep

Who has seen it all.

There's A Chase Scene

Because there's always a chase scene.

There's A Peep Death Scene

It's tough seeing a fellow Peep leave this Peep universe. After all, many Peeps get eaten by hungry children. But, hey, weren't Peeps originally made for eating... like, before they were made for telling stories?

There Is A Heavy Gender Politics Undercurrent

Blue Peep (boy) and Pink Peep (girl) fight because Pink Peep wants to rule the diorama and Blue Peep thinks she's not smart enough, even though she totally had quite the impressive Peep education (she graduated Marshmallow School with an honors in Sugar Coating, duh). Because what better way to talk about GENDER ISSUES than through candy, RIGHT!?

Obviously, we'll have to wait til this movie comes out — a release date has yet to be announced since the script hasn't even been finished yet — but hey, we're learning that Peeps are very capable of revealing truisms about humanity. Who knew that Peeps were capable of expressing such cinematic tropes.

Anyway, it looks like we're going to be in for a real, ahem — treat.