Life

'Men Explain The Penis.' Enough Said.

What happens when you ask a bunch of guys to explain how the penis works? Hilarity. That’s what. Lots and lots of hilarity. BuzzFeed recently asked a bunch of guys to explain male anatomy using a medical model, and the results as seen in this "Men Explain the Penis" video are pretty priceless. Given what happened when men attempted to explain the vagina, I had hopes that they’d at least be able to discuss their own sexual organs with a little more acuity; alas, this was not the case.

With questions ranging from “Describe the sperm’s journey” to “What’s the most sensitive part?”, naturally we’re going to get a whole lot of different answers — I just wasn’t expecting them to be as… well… bizarre. Um, guys? I'm no expert, but I’m pretty sure testosterone isn’t “guy juice,” although I do like the idea of sperm going on a “crazy water slide ride” on its way out during ejaculation. Also, foreskin being described as a turtleneck for your penis? Best. Analogy. EVER.

I would argue that the most useful answers involve what an erection feels like; each guy’s response is totally unique to them, and ultimately, that’s one of those things that anyone who does not have an operational penis will never be able to experience. To one dude, it’s “a good, strong cup of coffee”; to another, it’s “a little sex gremlin in your pants.” Sometimes apparently it’s also like some Pete Townsend-style air guitar, because all the best things in life should be explained with a Who concert analogy.

Women’s Health rightly pointed out that in all fairness, the dudes weren’t the only ones who were a little clueless about how their innards work; BuzzFeed conducted the same experiment with women, and they had just as much trouble describing the penis and its operations as the men did. It sounds like it's time for a little sex ed, no?

Image: BuzzFeed Yellow/YouTube