Life

29 Things Only Montrealers Will Understand

by Nathalie O'Neill

It sometimes feels like complaining is a national sport in Montreal —whether it's about the endless winter, construction and corruption, or the tensions having two official languages lead to. But despite any of its supposed flaws, Montreal keeps drawing us back in. If you're from Montreal, you know why: This is one of, (if not the best) cities on earth. Here are a few things only we Montreal natives can understand.

The confusion — and charm! — having two official languages leads to

"Bonjour, Hi!" is a standard greeting.

yes, Two different languages and cultures also means two different greetings

You're bound to offend a Francophone with a cold English handshake at some point.

You know Poutine is the ultimate drunk food

Extra delicious when served with Pepsi (never Coca-Cola) and pizza.

and that Pepsi can be problematic

Quebec seems to be so fond of Pepsi that the brand name has actually become a slur for French Canadians. Who knew soft drinks could be so political?

The summer sidewalk sales on Saint-Laurent will never get old for you

but you know it's just tourists who buy those mangoes on a stick

Saint-Laurent at 3 a.m. is just the worst

because It seems like not a night goes by without a fight

you have Habs fever

Otherwise known as the art of making a winter sport last until June.

you've frozen your ass off just to hear some good music at Igloofest

Those European DJs must think we're crazy.

and you know any construction work takes twice as long and costs twice as much here

Maybe corruption is just part of the city's charm?

but at least this means there's a metro stop nearby

Side note: a subway is a type of sandwich, not the metro

A red light has never stopped you from walking across the street

Jaywalking is basically a way of life for us.

you know this is called a "dep," even in English

Call it a corner store and we'll know you're from out of town.

and that Getting home after a night out is a headache

Why, oh why, can't the metro run all night?

you know Nobody here calls Mount Royal a hill

It's a mountain if we say it is, OK?

and that Picnics in Jeanne-Mance Park feel almost as glamorous as this

Flashback to the 1780s.

it only gets better in the summer with the Tam-Tams

Groovy times.

you're certain we're home to the world's best bagels

We don't even bother selling New York-style bagels.

and that our Summer festivals have the best vibe

Despite being super touristy.

The Plateau has basically become a mini-Paris

Good luck finding a cafe that's not filled with French expats.

but downtown is always full of drunk Americans

They actually visit for the legal drinking age of 18.

though to be fair, we visit the U.S. for cheap shopping trips all the time

Plattsburgh, N.Y., holla!

you know We're too fabulous to actually be competing with Toronto

When you see how many Torontonians have made Montreal their home, it's pretty hard not to have a superiority complex.

You remember where you were during the 1998 ice storm

So many blackouts, so many candles and flashlights!

We might have the worst winters in North America, but it's all worth it come springtime

because Everyone is outside for the next five months

in what is simply the best place to call home.

Gotta love this city.

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