Don't Pour This On Your Genitals!

Once, the eye was previously thought to be the worst place to get hot sauce — but one fraternity has made that option seem like a walk in the park with its new hazing ritual. On Friday, the University of Tennessee's Alpha Phi Alpha chapter was suspended for pouring hot sauce on its pledges' genitals. Ouch. For this little stunt, the fraternity has been suspended until 2016.

The worst part of this story (maybe)? The young men forced to undergo this horribly painful sounding treatment were already denied membership to the fraternity. According to a University of Tennessee report, Alpha Phi Alpha's president and their adviser told the university that the fraternity was ineligible to accept new members, despite a complaint on March 17 from a concerned mother who said the fraternity was hazing her son.

Two days later, another report was logged, and the university began an investigation into Alpha Phi Alpha that revealed rather upsetting findings. A university document detailing the investigation states, “A folder containing historical facts, a hand written letter, and a pair of men’s underwear was delivered to the Dean of Student’s Office.” This, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call a real smoking gun.

The document continues, “The letter advised that an element of the hazing involved pouring hot sauce on the young men’s genitals and that the underwear was hot sauce stained.”

The frat, which was without an on-campus house and had fewer than 10 current active members, is the fourth to be suspended from the university in the last five semesters. The university is no stranger to bizarre and vile instances of hazing, as they came under fire last year for allegations of "butt-chugging," a process that, CNN explains, involves "rubber tubing inserted into rectums as a conduit for alcohol."

In 2012, 20-year-old Alex Broughton, a member of Pi Kappa Alpha, was hospitalized with a blood-alcohol content of 0.40, and "showed signs of physical and possible sexual assault." Ah yes, the things we will do for fun and acceptance.

It is unclear what could possibly possess anyone to even conceive of such a terrible idea, and then to enact it upon his or her fellow human being. And while it is difficult to believe that any self-respecting individual would spend his or her time dreaming up ways of torturing others for the sake of "brotherhood" or "community," a visit to TotalFratMove.com shows that hot sauce does not even come close to the levels of creativity and depravity exhibited by other members of the Greek community.

Here are some of the worst ideas on the thread entitled "Need some ideas on hazing pledges."

OK, fine, you caught us, this one really isn't so bad. Of course, one might react to such a situation in one of two ways: 1) Be relieved that someone has already done your work for you. 2) Be infuriated that someone has denied your artistic license and deprived you of the opportunity to express yourself through crayons.

That is terrifying. And a bad idea.

That is disgusting. And a bad idea. Also, with the E. coli scare going around, this is no time to joke about feces.

Ok, this one is really problematic. What precisely are fraternities attempting to teach their pledges? That they are subhuman? That they will only be granted access into an exclusive brotherhood after undergoing horrendous physical, mental, and emotional abuse? Sometimes, it's hard to believe that we live in the 21st century and in a "civilized" country.

That is so messed up. No, no, NO.

You go, Glen CoCo.