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The 19 Simplest Phone Apps Ever

by Seth Millstein

With digital conversation gradually becoming more and more simple — we’ve gone from email to AIM to texting to Snapchat — we probably shouldn’t be surprised at the emergence of Yo, the latest minimalist chat sensation. True to its name, Yo lets users text “yo” to one another at the click of a button. That’s it. No pictures, no customization at all. Just two letters in your friends’ inboxes.

Laughably simple? You betcha, but it does have its uses (security flaws notwithstanding). The app essentially mimics the functionality of ringing a friend’s phone once and hanging up, which is useful for, say, signaling that you’ve arrived, or that your appointment is over and you need to be picked up, or simply that you're kind of a dork. Alternatively, it could also be used similarly to a Facebook poke, or even a real-life poke. The app’s manufacturers boast that, while traditional texting apps require 11 taps to text “yo” to a friend, Yo accomplishes the same goal in a mere two.

Yo’s simplicity, then, is much — or, really, all — of its appeal. And it’s not the first app to take this minimalist approach to, umm, apping. Plenty of apps have foregone the all-in-one model for single-use functionalities ranging from extremely useful, to absolutely pointless. Here are some of our favorites.

Weather Kitty

Shows weather in different time zones, but adds cat pictures so it’s more fun.

Virtual Candle

Displays a video of a burning candle.

Hold On!

Press the on-screen button for as long as possible for points! That's the game.

I Am Rich

OK, so this one doesn't exist anymore but it must be mentioned: It displays a three-line mantra affirming your wealth. Cost? $999.99. It was pulled from the App Store after one day.

Is It Dark Outside?

Tells you whether or not it’s dark outside.

SimStapler

Shows image of stapler that makes clicking noise when you tap the screen.

HangTime

Measures how high into the air you can throw your phone, and how long it stays airborne before shattering into pieces.

RunPee

Tells you the best time to take a pee break during a movie. Useful!

Dog Screen Cleaner

Shows videos of dogs licking your screen.

WhatsApplebee’s

Lets Applebee’s customers chat anonymously with other Applebee’s customers. Only works inside Applebee’s.

Crack My Screen

Simulates cracks in your phone’s screen. Because that's in now?

Pocket Whip

Shows picture of a whip, plays a cracking sound.

Motion Fart

Plays fart noises when you shake or move your phone.

Zips

Simulates zipping a jeans zipper up and down. Customizable underwear.

iNap@Work

Plays office noises (mouse clicks, etc) while you’re napping to trick people into thinking you’re being productive.

Taxi Hold’em

Flashes “TAXI” in big letters to make hailing cabs easier. (Because your hand sucks.)

The Little Application That Does Nothing

Self-explanatory.

Akatu Fake Shower

Plays the sound of a shower. Useful when using a poorly-insulated bathroom within earshot of loved ones.

Aggravate Nails On A Chalkboard

Simulates the sound of nails on a chalkboard. Just...terrible.

Images: Apple App Store