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Whatever You Do, Don't Look Down

by Lulu Chang

Its name is Verruckt, and just as its German name suggests, the Verruckt water slide is truly insane. Created by the sick geniuses of Schlitterbahn Water Parks, who also brought you such adrenaline rushes as the Storm Blaster, an actual water roller coaster, and the Dark Knight, a water ride that spends most of its time in pitch black darkness, Schlitterbahn has now created the most terrifying and tallest water ride of all — a slide that is taller than Niagara Falls.

Verruckt, which calls Kansas City home, is a 168 foot and 7 inch monstrosity that boasts a near vertical drop of around 168 feet, followed by "The Hill," a five-story climb and subsequent plunge into awaiting waters. The ride will catapult its brave souls to an astounding 62 miles per hour, and will last a gut-wrenching 11 seconds. The ride is taken on a raft, as going down the slide barebacked would quite literally skin its participants alive. Verruckt is sure to scare the bejesus out of even the most experienced water slide rider.

The previous record for world's tallest water slide belonged to Kilimanjaro in Barra Do Pirai, Brazil, which stood at an impressive 160 feet and 9 inches. But Verruckt blows the competition out of the water, and the competition includes the Statue of Liberty and Niagara Falls. The vertical drop is also steeper than any black diamond ski slope.

But of course, you will not have to brave Verruckt by yourself – in fact, the raft is designed for four people, and this wasn't just because engineers thought you'd want some moral support on your way to doom. Rather, without the appropriate weight, the raft is liable to fly off its tracks, as it did during initial testing with sandbags. That's right, when engineers first tested the water slide, the sandbags — which represent humans — fell off, along with the raft.

But now, engineers have fixed all possible issues and have added additional netting and velcro to address any safety concerns, and the Verruckt has now seen its first human passengers!

After climbing the 264 steps needed to get to the top of the ride, Jeff Henry, Verruckt's developer, and John Schooley, Verruckt's engineer, became the first to take a drop on the massive water slide. This is how we imagine they felt.

It begins

"Wow, what a view! This is a great day for some watery adventures."

Blissful ignorance

"I'm not really dressed to ride a giant water slide, but my outfit shows how relaxed I am."

It didn't look this bad in the pictures

"Maybe I should've worn a diaper after all..."

I have made a mistake

My hat knows when to call it quits

"Why did I even bring a hat on this ride?"

I take it back, nothing looks good this high up

"What have I created?"

The end, it's coming right at me

"My life just flashed before my eyes."

Thank God that's over

"Wait, isn't it?"

Nope

"I regret everything."

Not again

"This is the longest 11 seconds of my life."

This is the end

"I deserve everything that's coming to me."

Disembarking

"It's like going through the birth canal all over again."

Images: Schlitterbahn Water Parks