Entertainment

The Kardashians Have Rebranded, We Have Questions

by Alicia Lutes

So, apparently those bastions of taste and all things klassy, the Kardashians, have had a change of heart. They've decided, in the wake of all their grown-up adulting or whatever that maybe their Kardashian brand needs a new image. And because of that, we've got some questions. It's all because of an interview the sisters better known as Khloe, Kourtney, and Kim gave to CNBC's Closing Bell.

During their time talking to the capitalist, corporate-loving news outpost of NBC News, Kim stated that, "Last year, we reevaluated what our brand is and what it stands for," adding that the girls "stopped putting our name on things. We really wanted to only be involved in things ... that we're extremely passionate about and something that we own ... We would totally be open to collaborations, but we genuinely only want to take part in things that we own and have ownership in [as long as] that means something to us."

She also added, "I think our brand is all about empowering other women to be successful."

Now, we're all for female entrepreneurs and empowering ladies, but first, some quandaries...

  1. Is that really what you're doing here, Kardashian klan?
  2. Is "empowering women" really what a store like Dash, a series like Keeping Up with The Kardashians , and their bevy of egregiously dumb product endorsement deals do?
  3. And if you're only doing things you're extremely passionate about... are you, Kim Kardashian, extremely passionate about video games?
  4. Is that why you created the Kim Kardashian video game experience?
  5. ... Or is it really more that you're interested in money but not looking so obvious in that quest?
  6. Because there isn't really anything about a game where the objective is to get more famous by wearing kool klothes and dating totally hot celebrities in order to gain notoriety, that's really all that "empowering to women" now is it?
  7. And while we're at it: do we need to talk to you about how shitty it is that you and your sisters were spokespeople for products that you never owned, used, or cared about, ever?<img src="http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/getty/490895221.jpg?w=320"/>
  8. When you have that much influence over people's purchasing habits?
  9. Don't you know how dangerous and obnoxious that is?
  10. Where does Scott Disick fit into all of this?
  11. Hey, maybe you should start thinking about your "fans" as less of a well of potential financial gain and more like, you know, people? JUST AN IDEA.
  12. It's called responsibility and having a moral soft-spot for your fellow humans: heard of
  13. And one more thing: if you're "really proud" about being "really honest" maybe you should consider telling us how you really feel about your multitude of terrible products that are cheaply made and generally awful?
  14. Also when's North West's new fashion line coming out because I mean, duh, right?