Entertainment

Team America Might Cause Zach to Have a Breakdown

by Kadeen Griffiths

Big Brother has been rough on Zach Rance. Sure, Zach might have found Frankie and launched a showmance that would thrill and captivate us all, but Frankie has betrayed Zach more times than Christine has betrayed Nicole and when Zach found out exactly how big the throne of lies Frankie sits on is he had a complete breakdown. Literally, there were tears in his eyes. It's not every day you find out your best friend in the Big Brother house is the brother of Ariana Grande and is playing his game for charity, after all. Of course, if Zach found that situation emotionally traumatic then that's nothing compared to what Team America has in store for him.

The viewers have selected the latest Team America mission and it is to create a distraction by hiding a favorite piece of clothing from each houseguest and then to organize a neighborhood watch program to keep it from happening again. Everyone knows that Zach's favorite piece of clothing is his beloved University of Florida Gator shirt, the one thing he wears more often than anything else in his wardrobe. In fact, according to Donny, Zach "hasn't taken it off all week." However, it appears that Team America is going to make him take it off whether he likes it or not.

Considering how Zach reacted upon finding out that Frankie is Ariana Grande's brother, it seems likely that he's not going to take Frankie stealing his favorite shirt very well when and if he ever finds out. In fact, his breakdown over the loss might be the greatest breakdown he's had yet.

Stage 1: Shock

"Missing? What do you mean it's missing? It was right here! There are only eight people in the house! One of you have to have taken it!"

Stage 2: Suspicion

"Someone around here is a liar. I don't want to suspect my boy Frankie, but, let's be real, he's not the most honest guy in the world. Or maybe Caleb stole it to wear as a headscarf..."

Step 3: Anger

"My brother watches this show! He needs to see me reppin' University of Florida! And what will the Gators think??"

Step 4: Devastation

"That shirt was everything to me. Why can't I find it anywhere? I'm not Zach without that shirt! What's next? My hat? Is nothing sacred in this house?"

Step 5: Depression

"I don't even want to play this game anymore, man. I need to go home and buy a new shirt."

Step 6: Exasperation

"Thanks for lending me all the shirts, Frankie, but no shirt in the world can replace my Gator shirt. You don't understand. You'll never understand! (You're still my bae though.)"

Step 7: Hope

"You mean my shirt isn't missing? It was right here the whole time? Thank goodness, I almost walked right out that door. I'm not kidding, you guys."

Step 8: Celebration

"Zach Attack and his Gator Shirt will never be parted again! Celebrate good times, come on! I'll lead the neighborhood watch myself!"