Entertainment

What Does Botox Feel Like, Exactly?

by Kristie Rohwedder

If Sunday night's episode of Game of Crowns was supposed to psyche me up for next week's Legends Of The Crown pageant, it did its job. I'm not pageant ready, but I am ready-ready to watch the cast compete in what seems like a big deal pageant (I mean, the dramatic lighting MUST mean "big deal pageant," right?). Also? Shelley will back in the pageant game. Ugh, finally. Been dying to see Mrs. America in action.

But higher stakes and Shelley's triumphant return aren't the only reasons why I'm fired up about Legends Of The Crown: Security guards may be present (per Leha's request), the cast will still be reeling from Leha sticking Lynne with a restraining order, and Leha and Vanassa will be freshly Botox'd.

Oh, Vanassa. What a treasure. Vanassa sure did run away with Sunday night's episode. I was pleased as açaí punch with everything she brought to the table.

The Louboutins to the doctor's office. Her recommending Leha get Botox before Legends Of The Crown so she looks less "harsh." That incredible parfait bar. The prepping yogurt noisily while Leha revealed why she left Shelley's vacation house in a hurry. The taking a firm stance re: the pronunciation of "açaí" (Shelley could say açaí is pronounced "ah-sah-EE" until she went blue in the face, but Vanassa would not waver from "ah-kai") and delivering the line "It's sort of like Target or Tar-jay. Tomayto, tomahto." Likening Leha's restraining order against Lynne to something from a Scorsese movie. Telling Leha that Botox feels like getting bitten by the pageant bug*.

All of it was so good.

So, so good.

*Whenever I hear someone say "bitten by the ____ bug," I imagine an actual insect in a costume. Right now, I'm picturing a tiny winged bug in a tiara and sash, chomping on whoever it deems worthy. Occasionally, it injects people with Botox. It's both cute and terrifying.

Image: Bravo; multitudeofgifs/tumblr