Entertainment

This Game Needs A Map

by Kristie Rohwedder

You are just about to make your Kim Kardashian: Hollywood avatar try on skirts (you might even go crazy and splurge on those tights that look like outer space!), when something happens that you cannot ignore: your cell phone rings. Er, not your IRL cell phone. Your KK:H cell phone. It’s Simon Orsik. It isn’t one of the “I have a pile of club appearances that'll take 24 hours. I'd love to saddle you with one of them” calls that happen every sixty minutes. It’s an “It’s time!” call. About eight hours ago, you agreed to do a photo shoot for Elizabeth Korkov. And now, you must go to her. Simon tells you to meet her at Muse Magazine. You hang up the phone and click on the bus stop icon in Downtown L.A. That's when a terrifying realization hits you: Simon didn't tell you which city to go to. You can’t remember where Muse Magazine is. Where is Muse Magazine?

There isn't an in-game map/list of locations that you can pull up whenever you have to get your travel on, so you will have to count on your memory. Uh oh.

Click Here To Buy Game.

The longer you play the game, the more the locations blur together. It might be that building in Beverly Hills. Or it could be in Paris. Or in one of the NY cities. Or in London. Or...

You could always take the trial-and-error, gamble-on-which-city-it's-in route. But, like, you reeeeally want to buy that red leather skirt for your avatar. You'd hate to waste money on a bunch of unnecessary plane tickets.

So, you close your eyes and attempt to visualize Muse Magazine. You can see the front of the building. You try to picture everything. You see Oak. And KARDASH. And a skateboard.

THE SKATEBOARD.

IT'S SOHO. MUSE MAGAZINE IS IN SOHO. TO JFK AIRPORT WE GO.

Image: Kim Kardashian: Hollywood; burtreynoldsismyspiritanimal, xenaandjonesgiflibrary/tumblr