News

Guy Arrested For Playing Music In Subway Station

by Ali Parr

Hey, police officers? Boys in blue? Remember everything you've gotten in trouble for this year? In case you've forgotten, every newspaper, television, and computer within a 100-mile radius will be happy to remind you every waking second of every single day. How thoughtful, right?! It seems to be that the only news involving cops lately is negative: new stories of police threats, roughness, racial profiling, lewd behavior, and much worse are reported on every day. The once-revered profession is now messing up too publicly to be ignored, disrupting the faith we once had in law enforcement.

The latest police-shaming video takes place on the subway and features a cast of 3 major players: a busking guitarist, Andrew Kalleen, a member of New York's finest (let's call him Officer Bob because that seems about right), and an enthusiastic "burn the witch" crowd. Kalleen and Officer Bob are vehemently arguing about the laws regarding subway loiterers and performers, leading Bobby to look up the MTA's rules of conduct. It seems as if Kalleen isn't breaking any laws, and he resumes playing to cheers from the crowd.

Bob-o continues trying to make Kalleen leave, (probably for singing "Wish You Were Here" which is arguably valid) and the crowd realizes it's their time to shine: They boo and curse like the perfect Jerry Springer audience until Officer B decides he's finally had enough and roughly cuffs Kalleen and escorts him from the station.

What can we learn from this, friends? Here are a few nuggets of wisdom I'd like to impart to the players:

Officer Bobert: Dude – You knew you were being filmed. You gotta remember to put on your good cop face before you go out. You and your colleagues have been under heavy scrutiny lately. Camera phones are a thing. Don't be a turd, or everyone will see it. Also don't be a turd because it's, like, the right choice to make as a human. But also, cameras.

Angry mob: Calm down, kittens. As far as police mistakes go, this one is barely newsworthy. Could have been an honest mistake, could have been due to pressure put on by the obnoxious crowd, could just have been his time of the month. Why were you involved anyways? The unwritten code of the subway says that you must have headphones in at all times in order to properly ignore everyone else. Get it together.

Andrew "Free Bird" Kalleen: This is just a professional hazard, no? Keep on keepin' on, boo.

If the NYPD wants to undo some of the social media damage that's been done to their reputation lately, maybe they could start spending their time on more important matters instead of wasting time on petty offenses. Just a thought.

Image: Getty Images