I worked retail in a toy store for four years, and I lived through the '90s, aka, the decade of questionable toys. I once watched my mother scream back at a Furby who kept purring its own name over and over after its batteries had been ripped out. What I'm trying to say is that I have seen things. I have experienced fear. But none of those encounters could prepare me for the this video of the creepiest giraffe toy ever known to man, because after watching it I know it's only a matter of time before it appears to haunt me in one of my dreams.
The giraffe looks just like any other giraffe, but don't be fooled by its misleading exterior. When you turn it on (if it was turned on; no confirmation yet on whether or not this is an independently thinking being disguised as a toy), it shrieks like a demon hellion. And just when you think it can't get any creepier, it starts to walk—no, march—so full of intention that I'm assuming it can only be on its way to assemble its fellow demon giraffe brethren so that they can take over an unsuspecting world.
It eventually falls off the table into the murky depths of someone's carpet, but I'm not letting my guard down just yet. That's what it wants. In the meantime, we all need to stop preparing ourselves for the zombie apocalypse, because this video is clearly a warning: when the end comes, the almighty demon giraffes will be responsible for our collective demise. If you don't believe me, take a look at this footage, and if you still don't believe me...I tried to warn you. I really did.
Image: YouTube; Giphy (1)
