'AHS: Coven' Is Only Gonna Get Crazier

Last night's American Horror Story: Coven premiere featured (spoiler alert) a youth-sucking make out session, telekinesis, a human being turned into a manticore, multiple instances of rape, some mild stabbing, some non-mild homicide, and Frances Conroy in a seriously fabulous outfit. In other words, it's being talked about all over the place today. There's something new now, too: We've got a brand new American Horror Story: Coven trailer for what's coming in AHS 's third season.

"Who's the baddest witch in town," asks Jessica Lange in the trailer. My instincts tell me it's Jessica Lange herself, but she's got some pretty fierce competition this season, particularly in Angela Bassett's character.

So really, how much crazier can things get? Well, the trailer (which you can see below) promises that Taissa Farmiga's Zoe and Emma Roberts' Madison will attempt to mash together the body parts of Madison's deceased rapists with those of Zoe's deceased crush to create "the perfect boyfriend." There's so much wrong with that sentence but oh god, that is only just the beginning.

So, who will stay dead? Who will come back as some Franken-rapist (hint: probably Evan Peters)? Who will piss off Angela Bassett so much they'll regret it forever? Will Jessica Lange's Fiona succeed in her impression of a TV-MA rated version of Tangled's Mother Gothel?

We'll have to watch and see.

Image: FX