Entertainment

6 Perfect Jobs For A Post-CIA Carrie On 'Homeland'

by Chelsea Mize

Homeland fans, assemble. I bring to you some crucial news about the upcoming 5th season. Executive producer Alex Gansa has revealed some intriguing tidbits about what to expect from season 5, like the fact that Claire Danes' Carrie won't be an intelligence officer anymore. That's right: After Homeland's 4th season concluded with Carrie Mathison and co. departing Pakistan and heading back to the good ole' U.S.A., Carrie is leaving her job. According to Gansa, Homeland season 5 spoilers reveal the series will begin with a time shift, jumping 2 and a half years into the future — a future in which Carrie isn't a CIA agent anymore, and is in Europe.

Though Homeland season 4 left us with many questions, this new information brings up even more, and, considering that the premise of Homeland is based around Carrie being a CIA agent, I'm pretty curious to see how this one plays out. After such a long wait for the premiere, season 5 has to come back with a bang, giving us something to keep us on our toes from the start. This twist might be just the thing. I am beside myself with speculation. What is Carrie's new job? How can her unique skill set be applied to another field?

I've taken it upon myself to compile a list of potential careers for the post-CIA Carrie Mathison. This is not a task I have taken lightly. I have given serious thought to this and shrewdly examined her traits and talents to ascertain what careers would be the most fitting for her. Some important factors I have taken into consideration: her proclivity for being super intense, her dramatic demeanor, her tendency to develop romantic attachments in the workplace, and her ugly crying face.

Consider these following careers as potential replacements for Carrie's CIA position:

High School Drama Teacher

Her zest for the dramatic would lend kindly to a career as a high school drama teacher, inspiring her students with her passion and emotional range.

Customer Service Representative

As a CIA agent, Carrie is used to takin' some heat. She is also familiar with psychological warfare and methods of torture. Other than the CIA, there is no occupation that demands such resilience in the face of enemy threats like that of a customer service representative. To be a customer service rep, the role requires that you withstand hours of being screamed at while still keeping your wits about you. Carrie's background in the CIA would render her the perfect candidate!

Soap Opera Actress

We all know that there is no better place for melodrama than a soap opera. Carrie Mathison could be a great fit as the newest addition to The Young and the Restless or, perhaps, if she really steps up her game, Days of Our Lives. Or maybe she'd even be on a Spanish soap opera; given her demonstrated ability to speak multiple languages, Carrie could kill it on a telenovela.

Infomercial Actress

Life is full of struggles and inconveniences. Though they might be small, they are struggles nonetheless. Take this one, for example. You open your fridge. You want a glass of milk, but those darn cartons are just so flingin' flangin' hard to open. You turn to your television for a solution, searching for the perfect As-Seen-On-TV product to answer all your prayers. There's a young woman in the commercial. You identify with the woman on your screen. She gets you. You reach for your phone as she fumbles with the milk carton. The struggle is real. It's not just the milk, either. She keeps you coming back.

You identify with her struggle as she improperly flips omelettes or has spices rain down on her head from above. Now imagine that woman is Carrie Mathison. It would be perfect.

Witness Protection Program Participant

Maybe Carrie will be forced to go full-on Mary-Kate and Ashely in Our Lips Are Sealed and join the witness protection program after pissing off too many bad guys. Who knows, maybe Carrie Mathison will be given a new name and take up pulling espresso shots for a living as your newest barista at your local Starbucks.

TSA Agent

Not only does Carrie have relevant knowledge for this position, she also enjoys taking things way too seriously. She would be ruthless in making sure that no pocket goes unchecked for metal objects and no container of shampoo over 3.4 ounces makes it through security unscathed.

Images: Showtime, Giphy (5), blueclown562000/Reddit, Warner Bros.