This Meghan Trainor Parody Will Make You Cringe

What with Meghan Trainor's history of body shaming, refusal to call herself a feminist, and tendency to cling to traditional gender roles, you'd think that it would be hard to top the level of sexism found in many of her songs. Somehow, however, YouTuber Rebecca Zamolo's "Your Future Wifey," a parody of Meghan Trainor's "Dear Future Husband," manages to do just that. In fact, it might actually be more sexist than the original. Although Trainor sings about being the "perfect wife / buying groceries / buying what you need," she follows it up later in the song with "don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies / I never learned to cook / but I can write a hook." It's not exactly a feminist anthem, but it has some redeeming factors."Your Future Wifey," on the other hand, has no such saving graces. The parody, which is in the same "letter-to-a-future-spouse" style as the original, is like a three-and-a-half minute checklist of outdated, sexist stereotypes about women. The "women are all part of a hive mind?" Check. What about its companion, the "secret to unlocking every woman's brain is exactly the same?" Oh yes. How about the "ruled by their emotions?" But of course! The chorus warns her future husband that "even when I'm acting crazy / learn to read my mind." Because all women eventually turn out to be crazy in relationships, amiright guys??

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The parody especially plays into the "women are irrational" stereotype. Another gem from the chorus is the command to "tell me that my dress fits / even if it's kind of tight," because suggesting that a woman go up a size is unthinkable. The repeated requests that her husband learn to read her mind, rather than communicating like a normal couple, perpetuate the idea that women are some sort of mysterious creatures that can't articulate their feelings. Probably because our "mind[s] change so fast / like a race car that's driving through," as guest rapper Arnold Telagaarta helpfully points out. Which is more annoying, the harmful stereotype or his use of a tired metaphor? I simply can't decide. I guess I'm just so flighty!

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I can already hear the tweets claiming that I'm taking this way too seriously, to which I have just one response: no matter how "funny" the creators may think it may be, or how lightly you're supposed to take something, research has consistently shown that stereotypes perpetuate the status quo. As for the idea that something isn't sexist if a woman created it, I've got news for you, buddy. Women self-stereotype all the time, whether we realize it or not.

If you're curious as to the kind of person that would make "Your Future Wifey" without seeing anything wrong with it, Rebecca Zamolo's YouTube channel is devoted to weddings, other song parodies, and more weddings. In fact, her bio reads, "All things Wedding and Marriage. Love mixed with laughter!"

<img alt="arrested development animated GIF " src="http://media.giphy.com/media/oN6ERSh4LKhuU/giphy.gif" class="article-body-image"/>Check out the video below:

Side note: holy moly that woman has nice teeth. Someone get me her dentist's number.

Images: chaosthroughshade/austinmeowdodge/Tumblr