So Emma Thompson says Prince Charles' dance moves are "better than sex," which is something, considering Charles is one of the most boring and mildly unlikeable members of the Royal Family. But, still, Thompson went on to wax poetic in Time about the historical bond between rulers and the entertainer, citing Prince Charles as a close friend, one with whom she says she "tried" to get it on with, despite his "not having any of it." It makes us question whether she's somehow mistaken Prince Charles for her other close friend Hugh Laurie, but also: Why the hell would anyone ever turn down Emma Thompson, only to end with Camilla in the end?
But we're still left with the biggest question of all: What about Prince Charles's dancing could possibly elevate it above sex? Is it that Emma Thompson has just had really bad sex, or is it possible that Prince Charles has a secret gift? If so, what gift? Does he give great chat as he turns you about the dance floor? Is it that he and Emma Thompson once had a really great dancing experience — a choreographed number to "Rockafeller Skank" perhaps? — and that's what she's drawing from? Where would they have even had the opportunity to dance together? THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS. But rising above them is the sense of complete doubt that Prince Charles is actually a good enough dancer to elicit such praise. So here are the only ways Charles' dancing could be better than sex:
1) He is a world class ballroom/salsa/merengue dancer.
Oh yeah, he might look like your boring uncle, but hidden inside Prince Charles is the Antonio Banderas character from Take The Lead and he will teach you things about life, love, and dancing that will change the very fabric of your existence.
2) Under those conservative suits is a Channing Tatum body.
The whole Prince-Charles-is-an-anti-sex-symbol thing? It's all a ruse, to make sure the people love and adore his hunky sons, so that when he passes on the crown inevitably, the entire world rejoices and no one contest their rule or just abolishes the monarchy altogether. Good thinking, Prince Charles, you sexy dog you. If this is the case, then Camilla is a very lucky lady, very lucky indeed.
3) He is a walking Skittles commercial and as he dances, skittles come flying out of his shoes.
Yummmmmmm, skittles.
4) Emma Thompson is actually tricking us, and they did have sex, and when she says his dancing "is better than sex" SHE ACTUALLY MEANS HIS SEX IS BETTER THAN DANCING.
Whoa. My mind just exploded. Emma Thompson can do so much better than that.
5) Emma Thompson gets super drunk every time she and Prince Charles hang out, so, in comparison, he is in fact an unusually good dancer.
Hey, just because Emma Thompson comes off like the cool aunt you always wanted but never had doesn't mean she doesn't get blackout drunk at upscale functions. I bet she's a total laugh as well — no wonder Prince Charles would go hang out with her drunk ass in the corner. This makes a lot of sense.
